Frugal Hacks » humor

Frugal Kind Of Funny

DeputyHeadmistress — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 10:37:13 +0000

Generally our holiday and birthday celebrations are small. We do not do huge presents except a few special birthday years.

But last year I found such an awesome deal at a thrift shop that I couldn't resist, and I bought it for my husband for his birthday (which is just a few days before Christmas). It is a stand up tool chest on wheels, the nice shiny red kind. It was still in the box. It was at a thrift shop price on half off day. My son in particular was delighted over it.

One of my sons-in-law kindly picked it up for us in his truck, and carefully hid it, well wrapped, in an outbuilding on the property where he lives.

And all of us promptly forgot all about it. My husband had his usual smaller celebration and nobody thought once of the missing package, still secretly stashed away in a locked corner of the outbuilding.

Yesterday my son was over there for some reason, and he had an errand to that outbuilding, to that locked corner.

He came home smirking, and whispered his secret to me.

Since it's already mid-September, we're saving it for his birthday or Christmas present this year.

This isn't the first time I've forgotten a present that I stashed away earlier in the year, but it is definitely the largest gift I've ever forgotten.

How about you- any frugal funnies to share?
Oh, and if you have any tips on making an easy but cute chore chart for a two year old, share them here.

P.S. I am sure there are some misguided souls who would like to chastise me for being cheap and not giving him his present immediately and then buying him a whole new present this year. If that is what *your* beloved would find most satisfying, then by all means, that is what you should do. But I am married to my beloved, and right now, he is wanting to cut every possible penny, so right now, he would be appalled at the idea of my giving him this present now and then going out and buying a new one three months later just because I was forgetful last year.

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Food Spoilage Table: how old is too old?

kimc — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 14:24:33 +0000

You probably realize just how un-frugal it is to let food rot in your fridge. No matter how good the price was, you waste money when you waste food.

When it comes to leftovers, we usually draw the line at 1 week or when it doesn't taste or smell quite right - whichever comes first.

With primary ingredients, it can be a little more complicated. Sometimes it's hard to know just when to call it a loss and toss it in the trash or compost. I found this helpful table at The HomeMaker's Mentor, where you are sure to find many other useful articles.

FOOD SPOILAGE TABLE

EGGS
When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.

DAIRY PRODUCTS
Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is already.

MAYONNAISE
If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled.

MEAT
If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.

LETTUCE
Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without Comet.

CARROTS
A carrot that you can tie a clove hitch knot with it is not fresh.

CHIP DIP:
If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.

GENERAL RULE OF THUMB - if you can't find it on this list:
Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a hamster. Keep a hamster in your refrigerator to gauge this.

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Humorous hacks

kimc — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 18:06:26 +0000

We've all done it: come up with a cheap solution that everyone laughs about. It seemed like a good idea - and maybe it was - but the story still gets a good laugh.

Some are perfectly sensible and others will copy you; maybe you're even related to somebody who used the same idea. Some might look suspiciously close to your own past hacks. And a few might not be such a good idea after all.

I couldn't help but laugh out loud at my daughter when she wore a swim mask to cut onions, but it really works.

What was your funniest hack ever? Did you see the humor in it at the time?

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Frugal funny

kimc — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 15:35:19 +0000

Sometimes the frugal choice isn't the obvious choice.

Two bachelors go to the store for beer and toilet paper.

At checkout, they learn that they only have enough money for one item.

"Which do you want?" the cashier inquires.

"We'll just take the beer," replies one.

"Ok. Paper or plastic bag?"

They answer in unison: "Paper."

Maybe beer isn't on your shopping list, but you have to admire their flexibility. Has the need to be frugal ever led to a humorous situation for you?

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Frugal funny

kimc — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 16:03:44 +0000

Three engineers and three accountants were all taking a business trip together by train. The accountants each bought a ticket, then watched as the engineers pooled their money and bought a single ticket. The accountants wanted to know how they were all going to travel with just one ticket. The engineers smiled, and one of them said, "You'll just have to wait and see."

When they boarded the train, the three engineers all crammed themselves into one bathroom and shut the door. When the conductor came around, he knocked on the bathroom door and said, "Ticket, please." One arm shot out of the bathroom handing the ticket to the conductor.

On the return trip, the accountants thought they would try the same trick. They pooled their money and bought only one ticket. They watched and noticed that the engineers didn't buy a ticket at all. One accountant asked, "How do you guys think you'll manage to ride the train without any tickets?' The engineers smiled, and one of them said, "You'll just have to wait and see."

On the train, the three accountants cram into one restroom, and the three engineers all fit into another one. Shortly after, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and goes to the room that the accountants are in. He knocks and says, "Ticket, please."

Some of us go farther than others when it comes to being frugal. Taking home ketchup and sugar packets; sneaking food into theaters; buying more than the stated limit on a sale item; taking advantage of offers several times using other names or email addresses.

What frugal practices do you think are unethical? Why? What controversial practices do you think are OK?

Let's keep it courteous and be slow to take offense. If somebody else thinks you're crossing a line but you can honestly act in clean conscience, we can agree to disagree, right?

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Frugal funny

kimc — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 15:59:23 +0000

After 40 years of hard work, a man retired with $9,000,000, which he had gained through courage, diligence, initiative, skill, devotion to duty, thrift, efficiency, shrewd investment, and the death of an uncle who left him $8,999,999.50.

Did you ever lose on a "sure" investment, only to find unexpected blessing elsewhere? We have one of those stories. I'll bet you do, too.

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Frugal funny

kimc — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 15:55:16 +0000

Some say that debt can be a good thing if used carefully and properly.

A businessman walked into a bank in New York City and asked to see the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going out of town for two weeks and needed a $5,000 loan.

The loan officer told the business man that there had to be some type of insurance on the loan. One option was to offer up some collateral. The businessman said he had a Rolls Royce parked outside that he could offer as collateral. The bank employees checked out the vehicle and parked it in the bank's underground garage.

The businessman returned two weeks later to pay back the loan and retrieve his car. He paid back the $5,000 and the interest which totaled about $15. While he was away, the bank was able to check his account status. They noticed he had millions of dollars in the bank. One employee asked him why he would need a $5,000 loan.

The businessman replied, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for $15?"

What do you think? Is there ever a good reason for debt?

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