The Senior Citizen discount has been a topic of conversation in our house from time to time.  Last year, Husband took on this eligibility, although not with the same enthusiasm as I!  Actually, Husband was rather adamant that he was not about to take such a discount.  Hale and hearty with a heart to work for many years to come, he does not see himself as a senior by any stretch of the imagination. (His almost white hair just offers “distinction.”)  Husband sees this discount as a benefit to those retired and perhaps facing decreased incomes.

I, on the other hand, see this Senior Citizen discount as a marketing tool and a way to encourage more shopping. A discount is a discount and if my graying hair and advancing years make me more  marketable, I’ll bite!  Of course being the frugal mother that I am, and perhaps to the disappointment to store owners, I will do so within my budget parameters.

Although a subject of  disagreement, Husband has no problem with my choosing to wear the title of Senior Citizen at the checkout counter.  So, if you see a smiling, somewhat frosted with gray hair woman shopping on Tuesdays, it just might be me!

Any fellow Senior Citizens out there?  What and where are your favorite Senior Citizen discounts?

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© DL for Frugal Hacks, 2010. | Permalink | 8 comments | Add to del.icio.us

Early morning light previously enjoyed, now seemed to accentuate all that needed to be accomplished. Little did I know four years ago when moving in, my plans for this area still would not have found success.

Walls could use fresh paint, carpet now even more worn, dressers in need of some repair. My enthusiasm for this day was waning. Mind began to race as I contemplated a myriad of decorating ideas. Reality soon surfaced, however, as I remembered no budget for these projects and other priorities reigned.

Choosing to recall how grateful I had been that old quilt had matched curtains already here, rugs made to cover carpet spots still worked well and lovely pictures of precious family graced my walls, I made no allowance for this temptation. Having a budget helps to keep my emotions in check. No longer being ruled by feelings that so easily change from day to day, living with a plan keeps me from being ruled by momentary desires. Some day this room would get a chance to sparkle anew, but it was not to be for now.

Smiling, I chose to delight in fresh air blowing curtains with gusto. Reminding myself this room had comfortably housed many a guest and served my family well, I found victory! No more temptation for me. (At least for today!)

How do you wrestle with such temptations?

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© DL for Frugal Hacks, 2010. | Permalink | 2 comments | Add to del.icio.us

No pressure or expectations, just a day to be lived out well.  Ordinary days are perfect for the frugal woman.  What better way to practice using what is in your hand than on an ordinary day!  No traditions or commitments seeming to take more than can be found, ordinary days can make for simple fun.

Popcorn and peanut buttered apples for lunch, leftover soup made special with croutons or with shredded cheese on top.  Music playing with some candle ends burning.  Pretty napkins or just a special story at lunch.  A picnic on the floor with quilt or blanket.  Wildflowers from the yard in canning jar or an hour to sit close and talk.

Oh, the freedom of an ordinary day!  Finding joy in the rhythm of tasks accomplished and savoring the opportunities to bless my family with a simple meal and clothes fresh washed, I relish precious moments of ordinary.  How easy it is to lose sight of the significant realities when life is consumed with the pressures of hectic schedules and expectations seem to be everywhere.  That is why we must capture moments and savor the hours we find to be, well, just ordinary!

How do you celebrate ordinary days?

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Many, having not been able to attend the wedding, wanted to share in the joy of this marriage and so delighted all of us with a “Texas Howdy!”  The generous children of our fellowship loaned their boots, in cowboy and cowgirl style, polished to a shine for the evening.  Stuffed with a plastic bag and a bit of florist foam, these boots each housed a yellow rose.  Plastic tablecloths provided a backdrop for red and blue bandannas, and  boot centerpieces were the rage!  (The children thought it great fun when spying their boots!) A few cowboy hats, a bit of rope, some strategically placed candles, and, of course, the Texas flag,  provided frugal décor.  New Daughter even had some pages left in her wedding guestbook, which were used to record names from this gathering.  (She has the makings of a frugalite, don’t you think?)

Brisket, sausage, beans, and potato salad starred on the menu with watermelon and bread adding character.  Of course, dessert was Texas sheet cake!  Everyone had shared in bringing the makings of this feast that was so quickly devoured.

What made this evening extra special was the “pounding.”  It truly made my frugal heart sing!  New Daughter had been asked to give a list of supplies of any kind needed to set up her new household.  Each family from church had picked  from the list what they would like to purchase.  Now Firstborn Son and New Daughter have a full pantry! What a wonderful way to bless a new family!

I couldn’t help but think that an old fashioned pounding really fits in well to the frugal life.  It provides the newly weds with a wonderful start to their food budget and also produces a method of gift giving that doesn’t put undue strain on the pocketbook of the giver.  I really like this idea!  How about you?

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© DL for Frugal Hacks, 2010. | Permalink | 10 comments | Add to del.icio.us

Once Mom acquires the basic baby supplies, she may welcome time and effort more than another blanket.  Here are a few ideas that will work on almost any budget:

• If you have a good camera, offer to take, edit, and email photos of the new baby.
• Deliver a frozen meal in advance.
• Tackle a troublesome job, like cleaning that tiny bath that no pregnant woman can bend to scrub.
• Take the other children to the park so Mom can nap.
• Babysit so that Mom & Dad can have time alone before baby arrives.
• Make a gift certificate for laundry service (yours!)
• Who doesn't appreciate a garden bouquet and a thoughtful note?

I'm not crafty, so service- and food-related gifts work best for me. What's your go-to baby gift on a budget?

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© MerchantShips for Frugal Hacks, 2010. | Permalink | 10 comments | Add to del.icio.us

Remembering back to when  married life began, the realization came to me that I had become my circumstances.  How blessed Husband and I were to have started life with other people’s basement and attic treasures!  The table and chair given new life by a coat of stain, the hand-me-down sofa and the borrowed bed all came to mind.  Appreciative of the thoughtfulness of others, but not yet “living in my own skin,” the younger me would have loved a house decorated in Ethan Allen style!

Now many years later, perspective has changed.  No criticism here of the value of being able to purchase new quality furnishings.  I am all for multi-generational frugality and how this can include the passing down  of heirlooms for generations to come.  It is just that my specific situation has precluded such and that is okay!

Quite honestly, if it was mine to do again as a younger me, the thrill of the hunt in thrift shops, yard sales and family attics would  be a delight!  Perhaps the encouragement found on the blogs I’ve seen, where decorating resourcefulness and creativity abounds, has helped me to gain this appreciation. Then again, maybe it is just this place in time and the “wisdom” that comes with some years that makes my skin fit fine.

In no way am I minimizing the blessing of  nurturing family and our own souls by the environment we create.  It is just that it can be so easy to lose sight of the beauty of life lived with what is ours.  Many times I have found that it is me that needs to change and not my circumstances.

My applause to all fellow frugalites who testify to a life well lived within your means and circumstances.

How does your skin fit today?

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© DL for Frugal Hacks, 2010. | Permalink | 5 comments | Add to del.icio.us

First I tried Google Docs for creating and managing spreadsheets, most notably for our family's hand-me-down clothing inventory.  We've coordinated group sign-up schedules and co-written an event shopping list with incredible ease.

Then a local web designer turned me on to Google Sites.  It's a free platform for publishing online--think Blogger, but with designs that look more like websites.  I've blogged on every major platform thus far, and I find Google Sites to be completely intuitive.  If you know how to send an email, attach photos, and link to a website, I promise that you can figure it out!

 I've already created a church site and a nonprofit site in my spare time.  Here's what I'm loving about Google Sites so far:

• totally web-based, so no one in your group needs to purchase software
• rich text editor means that almost anyone can write or update content
• a variety of customizable templates, including school, church, and group features
• did I mention FREE?  That's right, no hosting charges.
• You can redirect or map a custom domain to Google Sites. Purchase a domain for $10 through Google Apps.

These new free tools are a frugal blessing. You can experiment with a home business, drag your church into the 21st century, or revitalize a nonprofit group...all without cost and from home. This is the best free thing I've discovered all year.

Google may be taking over the world, but we frugal folks can at least have a front row seat.

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© MerchantShips for Frugal Hacks, 2010. | Permalink | 2 comments | Add to del.icio.us

Not surprisingly, my husband, our friends, and I all have different ideas about what we value in gifts, and we enjoyed talking about the different processes we went through as we figured out what pleased the spouses in our marriages.

My friend once greeted her fiance's return from a trip with a huge hand lettered sign and some expensive stuff to go with it (I do not remember what, I just remember it was pricey stuff for a college student). Later when it was his turn to greet her on a return trip, he turned the sign around and wrote on the back of it, and gave her, oh, I don't remember- something like a plant he'd grown in his room or some wildflowers. My friend was crushed at what a cheapskate he was, whereas I would have been thrilled with such creative and frugal thoughtfulness.

On the other hand, on our first Valentine's Day as a married couple, my husband brought home a grapevine wreath from a floral shop- one that cost half my weekly grocery money. I was devastated and sick at heart. When I say it was half our grocery money, I mean that week I had half as much grocery money available as usual, and we were already eating a pretty limited diet of beans, rice, potatoes, with rice, potates and beans for variety. A present does not mean more to me because it costs more. If it costs more for what I view a frivolous reason, it actually causes me pain. Very likely this is associated with the deprivations of my childhood and my response to them, but also it goes with my particular personality and love language, just as my friend's love for gifts that do cost money is associated with her childhood and also her own personality and love language.

My friend said she would have been thrilled at such a romantic gesture. I asked her how it could be romantic to have to go without food to pay for a grapevine wreath you cannot eat and do not need, and I guess it just is, if that's your love language. Personally, I don't get it at all, and I mean that. I mean, I understand on an intellectual level that is how some people feel, but I cannot imagine it, I cannot understand why, and it's hard for me to believe that anybody really does feel that way, even though they tell me they do. Emotionally I am sure they can't really mean that, or that if only things were explained to them they would realize that the price on an item has no relationship to its value, and that true gifts are about love and time and service, not price- that's how foreign and incomprehensible that kind of thinking is. It seems thoroughly materialistic and soul-less to me. I never liked the story of the Gift of the Magi, either, in case you are wondering, and yes, I realize that seems soul-less to others.

It was years before my husband and I really understand this about each other. I think we finally got it the year he bought me a hundred dollar teapot I have never liked (you have to dust it with a q-tip), and I bought him a brief-case I thought was ridiculously overpriced.

I was shopping for his birthday present, and I began by shopping the way that would please me- the way that would actually thrill me, actually, and make me feel tenderly cared for and understood - carefully, frugally, taking time to assess all the different features, price comparing. This would ordinarily be a very time consuming process where I would go from store to store- because this is how I show my love- by spending time on something. But I was pregnant and had a 2 year old, and the 7, 8, 10, 13, and 14 year olds with me, the 10 year old still in diapers, and I was not supposed to be on my feet more than 20 minutes, and the 2 year old was fractious and we had just finished grocery shopping so I was exhausted, sore, and in near agony from the condition mandating I not be on foot. I also happened to start at the store where he had purchased the ugly teapot and so I had just found out how much it cost which did not make me feel loved at all, it made me feel like I was going to have to make more sacrifices in the grocery budget in order to pay for a present that was not purchased with my likes and dislikes in mind, and I simply snapped, grabbed the most expensive briefcase in the group I was looking at and muttered something quite unwifely like, "I can't keep doing this today. He doesn't care about anything but how expensive it is, anyway, so I will just get the most expensive one and I don't care what it looks like."

When the time came to give him the present, he gushed over it. Among other things he said, "You must have spent so much time finding this!" At which point the children all looked at me waiting to see what I would do, since we do value honesty in our family, and they knew that time is exactly what I had NOT applied in choosing that present, thanks to my big mouth. I shifted uncomfortably and avoided his eye, and he repeated his gushing and praise, so I felt compelled to confess in front of my children, "I didn't spend any time on it at all. I started to, but then I decided you wouldn't appreciate it so I just picked out the most expensive one."

Now if this had been reversed, I would have been saddened. It would have diminished the gift in my eyes, and so I felt like I was saying something hurtful and I was ashamed and embarrassed. But to my husband, brought up with different standards, expectations, and regular electricity, this was not hurtful. It actually increased the value of the present in his eyes. He glowed, and gushed more. And I was shocked, while also a glimmer of a clue began to twinkle in the murky recesses of my brain.

We talked about it later, and for the first time he understood that an expensive present did not speak of love and cherishing to me, it represented cold, calculated shopping and buying of affections the easy way instead of investing one's heart into it and it spoke of materialism and meant deprivation to me, whereas, and I began to understand that for him, buying something new, shiny, and a little more expensive at the store represented, well, excitement, fun, careless abandon, and it says something to him about how the gift-giver values him.

And here's the thing- both of us are quite right. Where we were wrong was to give the sorts of gifts we would have wanted to each other instead of trying to consider the love language of the person to whom we were giving.

My husband stopped giving me store bought cards and started writing me notes and making coupons for acts of service. I stopped making his cards and started buying them. If he asked for a given book, I quit buying it used and bought it new for him, but if I asked for a book, he would buy it used for me. I have literally been known to squeal with delight when one of my children gives me some special thrift shop find for a present and then tells me how little she paid for it. It may represent something cheapskate and grim to somebody else, but to me, I think it represents care, security, and thoughtful love. Maybe you have to grow up in a household where expensive whims might be indulged one day, but that would mean unkept promises, jeans six inches too short, and utilities cut off just a day or too later to really understand this.

To give a nonfrugal gift to a frugal person is like giving chocolate cake to somebody who is allergic to chocolate and who doesn't like it anyway. That is not generous or kind. It might make the giver feel good, but gift giving should be about your recipient, not yourself.

To give a nonfrugal person an obviously frugal gift and go on about your frugality is equally unthoughtful. You are not communicating your love to that person, even if that is what you do want to communicate. One difference is that sometimes circumstances simply do dictate that you cannot give any but a frugal gift, but when this is your situation you can dress it up, make the presentation special, and keep quiet about how frugal you were.

And try to believe people when they tell what makes them feel most cherished and honoured.

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© DeputyHeadmistress for Frugal Hacks, 2010. | Permalink | 23 comments | Add to del.icio.us

A man who loves to travel (he is already salivating thinking about our soon to be 30 hour drive back to the east coast) and a once upon a time, college history major, the European Faith and Freedom Tour hosted by Vision Forum Ministries would have been a life long dream.  Except for his pocketbook.  However, Husband had found this opportunity to “taste” the tour and later listen to the lectures on MP3, a satisfying alternative.

His comments had me thinking, and a deluge of frugal alternatives began to flood my mind:

Using the Library or Interlibrary Loan instead of purchasing a book

Serving a steak salad instead of a steak dinner

Freezing ice in empty juice bottles instead of buying fancy ice packs

Putting a cold rag around my neck instead of turning on the air

Researching the internet for fix-it solutions before calling in a professional

Landscaping with rocks from the yard instead of purchasing mulch

Trying a home remedy before calling a doctor

Using cardboard boxes or newspaper instead of buying expensive weed blocker

Sending email invites for a party instead of purchasing stamps

Eating from a cooler in the car instead of stopping at restaurants on a road trip

Baking a homemade pizza instead of getting take-outs

I’m not saying all frugal alternatives are as exciting as the originals, but they sure provide some interesting options and opportunities to partake of things not otherwise possible. Husband relished each and every video watched and has found his frugal alternative an excellent exchange.

Have you found any frugal alternatives to recommend?

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© DL for Frugal Hacks, 2010. | Permalink | 5 comments | Add to del.icio.us

Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink! 

With one water treatment plant ruined and the other dangerously low in reserve, Nashvilians have been asked to cut normal water consumption by half.  After all, greasy hair is a small inconvenience when you have friends who've lost everything.

Our family typically spends $35/month for city water and sewage fees, a cost I've never even tried to cut. Maybe an old dog can learn new tricks, I thought, secretly wondering just how long my cheerful attitude could last.  7 Ways To Conserve More Water Than You Even Knew You Were Using offers some radical suggestions for beginners.

Water Conservation Strategies I Should Have Been Doing Anyway:

• Cutting off the tap. How absent-minded have I been?  This one's a no-brainer when there's no longer a magical endless supply!
• Rain barrels.  I'm kicking myself for not setting up a bigger collection system.
• Wiping, not washing.  By spot cleaning instead of tossing straight in the washer, my laundry pile has shrunk to half its usual height.  I'm cleaning the toddler's tray with a soapy rag, diner-style. 
• Reuse of gray water.  After washing up, I've been scooping that water to flush a toilet or keep my plants alive.

Emergency Measures Which Save Water, But Not Money:

• Disposable everything, from paper plates to a case of Costco wipes. While the convenience was thrilling at first, in most cases, the real thing is more effective.
• Bottled beverages instead of filtered tap water. My grocery budget could double if we continued this practice.
• Canned and frozen foods instead of scratch cooking, in order to reduce clean-up. 

We'll definitely be making some long-term changes when the crisis is over.  Please say a prayer that my city will be renewed from the ground up. Water, neighbors, shelter--a few resources we'll never take for granted again!

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© MerchantShips for Frugal Hacks, 2010. | Permalink | 8 comments | Add to del.icio.us