Hindrances to Frugality- the Big ‘I’
When I started this 'hindrances to frugality' series, I first brainstormed all the issues I could think of that had been obstacles to us in our efforts to live within our means. I've been sharing them in the order I came up with them.
We've had emergencies, laziness, convenience, mixed up priorities, and lack of imagination, and the lacks- lack of contentment, planning, or knowledge.
As I read over my brain-storming list, I noticed a cute coincidence- the last few things I thought of were:
Impatience
Immaturity
Instant Gratification
Inflexibility
Most of these are related to lack of contentment, of course, but they are also just forms of not being a grown up. They all start with *I*, as so many problems do. That coincidence is cute, but that focus on the first person singular is not.
*I* don't want to wait for the things we want, too impatient, too immature to put off instant gratification- and so through debt we grease the rungs on the ladder of life, making it impossible to climb up, and all to easy to slide down.
We act like children- we see shiny things, we want shiny things now, and we want the kinds of shiny things our parents finally gained after twenty years of hard work and marriage.
We have rigidly inflexible ideas about the importance of date night and what it should look like, never realizing that those ideas are rigidly tied to one time period and culture and not appropriate for every family or income. We don't consider alternatives because that's just how it's done.
We need to practice patience, start acting like grown ups (that's not a bad thing, it's a good thing), learn to wait for what we want, and to be flexible.
At least, that's what I think. What do you think?
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4 Responses to “Hindrances to Frugality- the Big ‘I’”
March 25th, 2011 at 6:57 am
I don’t think it’s possible to agree more. I think impatience and instant gratification go hand in hand. I believe that patience truly is a virtue and that we could all be a bit more virtuous. One thing I started doing to combat this is to meditate and constantly tell myself to slow things down, there is no hurry.
Thank you for the great post.
-Ravi G.
March 25th, 2011 at 7:30 am
So true and so hard to do sometimes! I especially agree about date nights. It’s a nice idea but hardly required for a happy marriage. My husband and I are a case in point. We’ve gone for years without a date night and we are as happy together as we could be.
March 27th, 2011 at 9:15 pm
I suppose you’ve got a point, but your post is steeped in language implying that frugality is virtuous and morally superior. In my mind, it’s none of the above, it’s simply what’s in my self interest.
I live frugally, therefore I don’t have to have a job, and can support myself through non-employment means. I live frugally, therefore I have enough money in the bank to live comfortably for 15-20 years, so I don’t have to stress about the “what if’s”. I live frugally so I don’t have to play society’s stupid games and dress up in uncomfortable clothes, and try to impress other people.
I dunno… perhaps it helps some people to cast their actions in a morally superior light, but in my mind frugal living is just enlightened self interest!
March 28th, 2011 at 6:27 pm
I couldn’t agree more, impatience is something I have to work on even in my venture in Ambit. Actually in everything, patience is really a virtue.
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