Pondering Some More
Reading the comments on the post, A Frugal Controversy, my thoughts continued to multiply. I was encouraged by the array of comments regarding this topic and the willingness to enter into discussion. Although my point had not been to focus on the specific blogging situation used as an example, I admit I was pleased to see some agreed with my assessment.
However, I really do appreciate seeing and understanding the other side of a controversy and I was grateful for comments made by those who seemed to have a different perspective. As I pondered all of the comments and differing viewpoints, I asked Husband for his point of view.
Taking time to carefully assess the situation, as Husband is known to do, he shared what I thought was good insight. Husband believes each of us brings a lot to the table, so to speak, when we visit a blog. Because we come to the information or viewpoint with different opinions, life experiences and attitudes, we may “walk away” with very different perspectives.
Musing over this theory, I would say it can be very true. I for one, am a woman of strong opinions and personal convictions. Many times the perspectives I read on blogs, are not in line with my mindset and consequently, what I share may not be in line with what others may think. There is, though, great advantage to gracious, thoughtful discussion on the many topics I will call “life” (frugal or otherwise.)
What I do not understand, however, is the venom and name calling that can ensue. I don’t know about you, but over the years I have have been misunderstood in something I have written to a friend in e-mail form. E-mails can be very one dimensional. Perhaps it is because we tend to read and write them quickly, or maybe because there is no voice inflection or facial expressions that often help to interpret our communication.
This fact can also be applied to the reading and receiving of blog communication. I happen to know several bloggers whose blog personality differs greatly from how they are in the flesh. This could be because of writing style and a desire to set their blog apart from other blogs or just that some personalities flourish more in “pen.” Whatever the reason, I think we should keep in mind when reading blogs that a lack of “voice” because we cannot see or hear the blogger, as well as our perspectives, struggles, opinions, or even past experiences, can color what we think we are reading.
Keeping this all in mind, when we visit a blog, aren’t we accepting the hospitality of the blogger? If we don’t like the atmosphere, shouldn’t we just go home and not come back? Is there a place for criticism and if so, shouldn’t it be given with humility and kindness?
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6 Responses to “Pondering Some More”
January 6th, 2011 at 7:37 am
I think that visiting someone’s blog should be like meeting a new person. You’re polite & if you like them, you come back to visit again. If you don’t like them, you don’t visit again. If you meet someone in real life that you don’t click with, do you have a fit and call them names in public? No, you just don’t go out of your way to visit with them again.
Some people need a lesson in how to be polite. I think that’s true in real life as well as online.
January 6th, 2011 at 8:19 am
A blog to me is like someone’s home. I would not go into someone’s home and attack their personal taste, beliefs, or family. It is okay if asked to give your ‘ideas’ etc. but not unless you are asked.
January 6th, 2011 at 8:24 am
I agree. I think some people forget their manners and want to criticize the writing without ever considering that there is a real human behind the words.
I suspect that many people who leave nasty comments via the anonymity of the internet would never display such manners in a real life setting, no matter how vehemently they disagreed with the opinions presented to them.
January 6th, 2011 at 9:27 am
I used to read dooce.com, a blog that would get 500+ comments on each post, and eventually she made her comment system members-only because of the constant vitriol. I recall once she posted absolutely gorgeous portraits of her young daughter, and dozens of people chimed in to point out that she has a rather large forehead and would look better with bangs. And that’s a mild example! If she would dare to post a personal opinion on her personal blog…
Sometimes I feel like the readers believed they HAD to read dooce. Somehow, some entity was forcing them to do so, and if they didn’t like it, they had no other recourse than to spew hate at it. I don’t think it ever occurred to them just to stop reading it.
I’ve read plenty of blog posts in my lifetime that I didn’t agree with, and you know what? I walked away. I don’t HAVE to read any of them. I really get the sense that folks don’t understand that.
January 6th, 2011 at 10:12 am
I have another question for you: Do you think some of the negativity and extreme comments are a part of a “marketing technique” seeking to create a curiosity about their own blogs? Or just intense feelings not well presented? (in my opinion)
January 6th, 2011 at 12:14 pm
DL–
I agree with what you say about the ‘lack of voice’ in our writing whether it be letter, email,blog and so forth.
But, I know there are times when you can read and understand the passion coming across the text. Even Paul wrote : “See with what large letters I am writing to you with my own hand.”
When trying to convey his message and the passion that he had for the subject.
I might add to this conversation by saying, that even in person people can become confused as to the meaning behind someone’s words, by the body language and the passion in one’s voice, thinking they are angry, when really– they may just have very strong views about a certain subject matter.
I also agree with you, that you do not have to remain there and continue to read something that may be offensive to you the reader. You can practice with all sagacity what it means to glean good information and throw out the chaff!
Same with changing the channel on the TV if the programming is offensive.
Thanks for allowing us to discuss this topic together and see all views!
Pat
corninmycoffee-pot.blogspot.com
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