Comments on: A Mother’s Day Gift For A Frugal Mother

By: DeputyHeadmistress

DeputyHeadmistress — Wed, 12 May 2010 03:10:51 +0000

And Vicky, what you call scrimping, my family calls good stewardship, wisdom, and judicious spending. I expect that most of our children (yours and mine) share the values of their parents, so your children may well prefer that Mom spend the money without a thought to future use, and that would be honoring them for you. It would not be honoring in my family.

By: DeputyHeadmistress

DeputyHeadmistress — Wed, 12 May 2010 03:00:23 +0000

DL, I am with you, too, and I know my children would be as well. My children do not invest their feelings in material things, either. They would have been tickled pink to give me a sum a money for me to use for A. and then to have me find a way to use it for A, B, and C instead.=)

But then, I was a Mother of the Bride twice in one year and I wore the same dress to each wedding. I was a little worried about that, but then while discussing it with the mother of the groom while planning wedding #2, I found out that she was hoping to do the same thing (and did).

By: John

John — Sun, 09 May 2010 02:42:20 +0000

Being one of the gift-giving “children,” I think I can clarify some of the misconceptions that have arisen about my mom’s post. First off, my mother did not reject our gift. Part of our gift was that she would pick out the dress that she wanted. The reason she was not thrilled about the first dress (which she picked out,) was not because of the price, but because of the spot wash tag.

When she found the second dress, we were all happy, and liked it better than the first. It just so happened that it was cheaper, which is fine with me. Since I and my siblings, the givers of the gift, and my mother, the receiver, are quite happy with the end result, I don’t think there’s any problem. Thanks for commenting!

By: kimc

kimc — Sat, 08 May 2010 17:49:13 +0000

I’m with you, DL, and I know my children would be too. We all agree in our house that a dress that can be washed and worn many times is much better than a dress that’s only good once.
Frankly, I think my children would be disappointed if I used their gift to buy a dress that I could only wear a few times.

By: vicky

vicky — Sat, 08 May 2010 14:40:32 +0000

I’m sorry but I have to agree with everyone who thinks you dishonor your children by not allowing them to honor you. How would you like it if you gave someone a very nice gift and they refused it. Also, since it wasn’t your money, why do you feel the need to scrimp?

By: DL

DL — Fri, 07 May 2010 23:17:27 +0000

Catherine:
Thank you for your caution. I do think I understand your point. I do not believe this was a control issue. If the dress had been picked out and given to me by my children, I certainly would not have taken it back. However, the gift given was to find the dress I wanted most and my children did understand my reservation regarding the first dress we found in not being easy to clean. My children were in no way offended and they and my husband preferred the less expensive, washable dress on me more than the other. My sweet children then went on to purchase matching shoes for my outfit (found on sale and bought with a coupon) and were pleased to see me so well dressed and also receiving a bit back for their coffers! Theologically speaking, my children were a vessel for God’s blessings and we were all grateful He blessed us with the second outfit!

By: Lora

Lora — Fri, 07 May 2010 21:49:17 +0000

I totally and completely empathize with you. I would not enjoy a dress that could only be “spot dry cleaned,” no matter how lovely. It would seem so impractical and wasteful of the children’s resources. What a joy to find an outfit that you like for the occasion which is also washable. Congratulations on finding a skirt and top that suits the occasion and truly makes you happy. I’m sure that fulfills the goals of your children.

By: Mindy

Mindy — Fri, 07 May 2010 15:51:26 +0000

I agree with Catherine and her kind way of words.
Sometimes we get so driven by dollar signs we may lose sight of what’s really important.

By: thainamu

thainamu — Fri, 07 May 2010 15:37:02 +0000

Been there and done that, with both sons’ weddings. For the second wedding I bought a fancy long dress, cut it off, made a matching tie for my husband and purse for me out of the part I cut off.

But truth be told, I pretty much agree with Catherine’s comment above. My kids have given me stuff much too expensive, too, and I really know I could use the money in a better way. But it is kind of a slap in their face to say, “No, it doesn’t matter what you want, I want to do it my way,” thereby disrespecting their attempts to love and honor you. That is a lesson I’ve had to learn myself, so that’s why I feel allowed to speak.

By: Kate

Kate — Fri, 07 May 2010 13:33:03 +0000

I know how you feel, everytime I go clothes shopping i keep thinking ” I wonder if i could get something cheaper elsewhere”. the trouble this means that i end up often buying nothing.