A Mother’s Day Gift For A Frugal Mother
Exhausted and frustrated, Daughter and I returned home from our shopping trip, empty-handed. As Mother of the Groom, my dear children wanted to dress me in style! An early Mother’s Day gift had been given and Daughter was designated to take me clothes shopping for the upcoming wedding. Generous budget in hand, daughter and I had spent hours trying to find a suitable dress. Tasteful, modest and reasonably priced were the goals we left home with, but success had not been ours.
Another day stood before us as we returned to the shopping process. At last we seemed satisfied. A rose colored, two-piece taffeta, full length dress fit well and met all our other criteria. A bit pricey, but within the budget allocated, I said this one would do. Checking the tag, I saw the dress could only be “spot dry cleaned.” My thoughts spilled over to my tongue as I said to Daughter, “I am buying a brand new dress (this means not at the Thrift store) and I can’t even clean the dress?”
Oh, those frugal thoughts! This dress was an incredible gift of love from my children and had been budgeted by them with care, but I couldn’t help but contemplate what seemed to be a lack of wisdom in investing in something so expensive, knowing its very life might be short. Realizing that, as this was a special gift, practicality need not loom large, the dress would be purchased.
Taking said dress to Cashier, I couldn’t help but notice a nearby clearance rack. Evading Daughter’s look, I made a fast perusal of its contents. There, nestled amongst the other neglected items, a long dressy skirt was found. My size, fantastic price, and it was washable! Amazed at my found treasure, Daughter acquiesced, and the decision was made to buy both the skirt and the dress. If time would permit, on another day, we would search for a top to match this beautiful skirt.
After this shopping trip I was smiling! Everyone liked my new dress, but all were amazed at the deal on the skirt! The gears in my head were turning and lest I bore you with more details, Daughter and I found the perfect top for my deal of a skirt, returned the dress, and Frugal Mother has been smiling ever since!
Saving my dear children money by coming well below budget and having an outfit I not only like but is washable, has brought delight to my frugal, practical soul!
Perhaps, you’ll understand?
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12 Responses to “A Mother’s Day Gift For A Frugal Mother”
May 6th, 2010 at 7:38 am
I am so right there with ya sister! Good for you!
May 6th, 2010 at 6:46 pm
You story made tears come to my eyes. Your children, your prides and joys, want to honor their mother and they save up their money to do it. However, you are so caught up in the dollar signs that you can’t allow them to honor you, you have to take control of the situation.
I do not mean to be mean here, but this is a sentiment that I often feel when I come to this site. Imagine if we approached our Christian life this way. God tells us “look, you are precious to me, here is what I can offer to you.” If you follow your thinking with the dress, your response would be “No thank you God, I have found something better right over here and I know what is best, you don’t.”
I am all for being careful for our resources, we are called to be good stewards. But is it possible that it an very quickly become a matter of sinful pride for us, and we are trying to take control of what God has given us and tell him that we know what to do with it better than he does?
May 7th, 2010 at 7:33 am
I know how you feel, everytime I go clothes shopping i keep thinking ” I wonder if i could get something cheaper elsewhere”. the trouble this means that i end up often buying nothing.
May 7th, 2010 at 9:37 am
Been there and done that, with both sons’ weddings. For the second wedding I bought a fancy long dress, cut it off, made a matching tie for my husband and purse for me out of the part I cut off.
But truth be told, I pretty much agree with Catherine’s comment above. My kids have given me stuff much too expensive, too, and I really know I could use the money in a better way. But it is kind of a slap in their face to say, “No, it doesn’t matter what you want, I want to do it my way,” thereby disrespecting their attempts to love and honor you. That is a lesson I’ve had to learn myself, so that’s why I feel allowed to speak.
May 7th, 2010 at 9:51 am
I agree with Catherine and her kind way of words.
Sometimes we get so driven by dollar signs we may lose sight of what’s really important.
May 7th, 2010 at 3:49 pm
I totally and completely empathize with you. I would not enjoy a dress that could only be “spot dry cleaned,” no matter how lovely. It would seem so impractical and wasteful of the children’s resources. What a joy to find an outfit that you like for the occasion which is also washable. Congratulations on finding a skirt and top that suits the occasion and truly makes you happy. I’m sure that fulfills the goals of your children.
May 7th, 2010 at 5:17 pm
Catherine:
Thank you for your caution. I do think I understand your point. I do not believe this was a control issue. If the dress had been picked out and given to me by my children, I certainly would not have taken it back. However, the gift given was to find the dress I wanted most and my children did understand my reservation regarding the first dress we found in not being easy to clean. My children were in no way offended and they and my husband preferred the less expensive, washable dress on me more than the other. My sweet children then went on to purchase matching shoes for my outfit (found on sale and bought with a coupon) and were pleased to see me so well dressed and also receiving a bit back for their coffers! Theologically speaking, my children were a vessel for God’s blessings and we were all grateful He blessed us with the second outfit!
May 8th, 2010 at 8:40 am
I’m sorry but I have to agree with everyone who thinks you dishonor your children by not allowing them to honor you. How would you like it if you gave someone a very nice gift and they refused it. Also, since it wasn’t your money, why do you feel the need to scrimp?
May 8th, 2010 at 11:49 am
I’m with you, DL, and I know my children would be too. We all agree in our house that a dress that can be washed and worn many times is much better than a dress that’s only good once.
Frankly, I think my children would be disappointed if I used their gift to buy a dress that I could only wear a few times.
May 8th, 2010 at 8:42 pm
Being one of the gift-giving “children,” I think I can clarify some of the misconceptions that have arisen about my mom’s post. First off, my mother did not reject our gift. Part of our gift was that she would pick out the dress that she wanted. The reason she was not thrilled about the first dress (which she picked out,) was not because of the price, but because of the spot wash tag.
When she found the second dress, we were all happy, and liked it better than the first. It just so happened that it was cheaper, which is fine with me.
Since I and my siblings, the givers of the gift, and my mother, the receiver, are quite happy with the end result, I don’t think there’s any problem. Thanks for commenting!
May 11th, 2010 at 9:00 pm
DL, I am with you, too, and I know my children would be as well. My children do not invest their feelings in material things, either. They would have been tickled pink to give me a sum a money for me to use for A. and then to have me find a way to use it for A, B, and C instead.=)
But then, I was a Mother of the Bride twice in one year and I wore the same dress to each wedding. I was a little worried about that, but then while discussing it with the mother of the groom while planning wedding #2, I found out that she was hoping to do the same thing (and did).
May 11th, 2010 at 9:10 pm
And Vicky, what you call scrimping, my family calls good stewardship, wisdom, and judicious spending. I expect that most of our children (yours and mine) share the values of their parents, so your children may well prefer that Mom spend the money without a thought to future use, and that would be honoring them for you. It would not be honoring in my family.
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