Leaving the Frugal Life Behind

I do the SAME thing! DH and I are not big eaters. We don’t need a $100 steak to ‘enjoy’ ourselves. We happen to like the less then $2 a pound meat we can get at the store, and we also like the Chilis, Outback, etc. My sister and her DH as well as my parents LOVE food. They will go above and beyond to go to a new fancy restaurant. i’m not big on eating to begin with as I eat like a bird, so spending $40 on a steak or something that I’ll have 3 bites of and be full is not my idea of a ‘good time’. We went to Forneletto at Borgata on our last vacation. We had a few gift cards that we had saved up (VISA ones) and decided since we both love pasta and Italian food, we’d go. We each got a glass of wine, no appetizer or dessert and we both got an entree. It came to about $80! A couple to our left got a bottle of wine, both got appetizers and an entree and each got dessert. I can imagine what their bill was! On our right came a young couple (maybe 21) and we eavesdropped a tad. They were looking at the menu and prices and figuring out what wine to get. Then the guy goes ‘This is NOTHING like Carabbas’ at which point DH and I laughed out loud. That is sooooo us! We’d rather the cheapy places over the expensive places ANYDAY!
But looking around at this place, I see your point about debt snowball. Hopefully your taxes didn’t pay for these meals! I work for the government so I can kind of tell you what happens. When we go away for training, etc, we get a set allowance each day for food and it all depends on where it is your’re going. (NYC would get a higher food allowance then let’s say Maryland). But if it’s a regular company, I would certainly hope you didn’t have to pay their way!
I do the same with my coat too, I never check them. For a few reasons, first and foremost I’m ALWAYS cold and always have a sweater jacket or jacket with me and 2 because I’ve heard too many horror stories of them losing their jacket. Although, my jackets don’t cost more then $40, and I’m sure most people checking their coats, their coats cost a ton more then mine!

Great post and interesting to think about. I am an inveterate non-consumer but my fella likes to live it large now and then. It is difficult finding a balance. Espcially when he wants to take me out. There is no way I can ever reciprocate at the same level. He simply earns more than I do. It is great to go out but also we have had some very special times either just staying or going out and spending very little. He appreciates those times as much as I appreciate his gestures.

I sometimes find excessive consumption just for the sake of it disturbing. I have so much compared to like 90% of the rest of the world.

But if you are going to go out and treat yourself I think it is best not to think about it. If one does it rarely enough that it is a real treat definitely live it large and don’t think about the extras or the bottom line.

Janet, I appreciate your honesty. We each have different “seasons” of frugality. Some can be exhausting and challenging and I too have been known to worry. However what I have found to be the advantage of the frugal life is that my perspective is changing. No longer controlled by a culture of consumerism, sharing a soft pretzel with my husband can be as satisfying to me these days as a fancy meal out.

i dont go out to fancy dining places much either, but when i do…i know that i wont have a bill for it coming at the end of the month. that makes it all the more enjoyable. given a preference though, i too would rather share an intimate, quiet evening at home with my husband sharing a meal that we fixed with our own hands, burning our own candles, and spinning our own music.

Congrats on working your debt snowball we proudly completed our 27,000 snowball in 9 months and came out of it with a better marriage and kids that appreciate things a little more… they are still kids though.
I can identify with not leaving frugality. Hey… that’s how we build wealth once the debt is gone. You can’t fall off the wagon and charge till the cows come home… without their utters because they had to pawn them to pay Chase!
We still love doing some of the things we started during the most frugal times of our life… the beans and rice days. Some of our frugal family fun activities were:

Parks: Spend Saturdays at the park with the kids or a good book. Bring a picnic. Be sure to choose a safe and populated area.

Library:
This is a treasure trove of fun for the little ones. Fascinating books, computers and free coloring sheets. Plus most libraries have story telling at least once a week. Need a movie, at your library they are free and stocked full. My kids love the children’s sections assortment of movies. And I really enjoy their books on CD for my commute.

Camping: in the living room or yard. Little ones get a real kick out of this.
We also saved on groceries and still do by:

Aldi: A buggy completely full(top & bottom) at Wal-Mart with mostly store brands can cost us about $140. Fill that buggy up at Aldi and you are looking at about $70 to $80.

Don’t just look at the products at eye level. Lower priced canned goods often are hidden bottom of the shelf

Buy the baking basics and you’ll always prepared for what sweet craving you develop… and cheaper than you could buy it usually.

Hugs to You My Frugal Kindred Spirit!

I agree!
While I enjoy a nice night out on someone else’s dime, it’s much harder for me to enjoy a night like that on our own dime – and I don’t think I would choose to spend lavishly or frivolously no matter how much I had.
Have you ever read The Millionaire Mind? *Great* book! The truly wealthy don’t look, act or spend the way most of us would expect.

I’m all for enjoying the finer things in life (if you can afford it) as long as you’re taking time to bless others along the way. Giving a $10 tip sounds like a great way to bless someone else!

Some aspects of frugality can be fun (camping, libraries, and parks as mentioned by Heather up above), but other aspects of frugality aren’t fun, they’re just plain tedious, boring hard work, and I’m more than willing to leave those aspects behind.

I do hope that you left an appropriate (at least 15% tip for your waiter/waitress). Even with a gift card, you should always tip.

Fifteen percent of $80 is $12. You don’t have to share what you tipped (I would love to know), but I sure hope it was the minimum of what is culturally acceptable. Waiters and waitresses often make well-below minimum wage base pay (like $2.65 an hour), because it is expected that they earn their wages in tips.

I found this discussion fascinating! I am a mom with five kids on a modest, single income and we generally “eat out” (if you can call it that!) at places like McDonald’s when we’re on the road. However, two weeks ago, my attorney brother decided to host his siblings and their spouses and take them to an UBER-nice restaurant in our state’s capitol, where he lives. What a night! My husband and I couldn’t get over what everything cost and know that the bill for our table easily hit at LEAST $350.00-$400.00! Wow!! I kept thinking throughout the night, “Isn’t money a strange and funny thing? Everyone sees value in such different ways!” My husband and I don’t drink, but my brothers love a wonderful bottle of wine; each of the bottles brought to our table cost upwards of $100.00. The appetizers were in the $15-$25.00 ballpark. And the meals themselves were in the $35.00-$50.00 range. Since my husband and I never go to restaurants like this, we were wondering if this is what is normal or if we’re just so “out of it” that we don’t know what people normally spend on meals like this. And while we did have a wonderful time with all of our family, I can honestly say that both my husband and I felt like we could have done almost as well ourselves if we had made the same meal at home and bought excellent quality ingredients. I know that the purpose of a night like we had is that you get to enjoy being together without having to worry about the cooking and the cleanup, etc, but is a meal REALLY worth THAT much??! I have thought about this a lot over the past week, and wonder what other people think about expensive food like this.

Kimc, theoretically that could be true (but it’s not, the average wage/tips work out to be about $7.14 an hour), but what if everyone was thinking the same way as you – that someone else was giving generous tips, so you don’t have to? Even in expensive restaurants, waiters and waitresses aren’t going to retire early on their hard-earned tips. Plus, it’s a grind of a job. On your feet, dealing with unhappy customers, etc. Sure, some nights, a waiter can clear $20 an hour for a 5-hour shift, but those “awesome” nights are few and far between.

Susan, It’s not just the food you are paying for, but the ambiance, the skills of the chef who created the menu and creates “specials of the day”, the entire experience. Before I stopped working (due to illness), my husband and I used to go out to dinner frequently – once a week, I’d say. Maybe once a month we’d do a night out like the author wrote about. At the time, we were both wine enthusiasts, and lived in an area with amazing restaurants and chefs. Life is different, now. I am unable to drink wine and also have problems digesting foods, so it’s usually not worth it to go out for dinner.

Concerning tipping, don’t always assume! I worked lunches at a really nice steakhouse/wine bar in Arizona and only made $2.13/hour in 2004. There were some days I would only make $20 in tips or less just because it was so slow. Night crowds are obviously better, but it was really discouraging. We had “coupons” for a promo that gave customers $10 off their lunch bill and I had people come in, order something cheap, use their coupon, and literally leave me $.50 for a tip. And this was a “fancy” restaurant.

I agree with whoever above said that if you can’t afford to be going to the restaurant and cannot afford a decent tip, then just don’t go. It’s discouraging to the staff who work really hard to give you a wonderful dining experience.

And FWIW, I was always extremely honest in claiming my tips.