Frugality Is Not Black & White
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Writing about frugality is trickier than it looks. There's always someone who has more/less or spends more/less. Few consumer commentaries satisfy both.
Does your family income (or expenses) fluctuate? Ours, too. What makes good financial sense one year may not be the right strategy for the next.
When we were newly married and nearly broke, money choices were easy. Did we absolutely have to have it? If not, then the answer was no. This thinking carried us through graduate degrees without debt and the renovation of our first home.
Put a little cash in the pocket, and the temptation becomes greater. Should you spend it all, just because you can? Should you spend nothing, simply to prove your frugal discipline?
I've come to rely on a sliding scale. I don't ask myself, "Can we afford this?" Instead, I ask:
Is this the BEST USE of our money?
It's a question every reader must answer for herself.
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12 Responses to “Frugality Is Not Black & White”
November 9th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
This is a topic I’ve thought about over the years, especially due to my job in life (missionary living off direct donations). Like you, when we were newlyweds there was NO money for anything extra, so it was easy to decide.
Then when we lived overseas, it was “make do,” not so much because of money, but because there were no stores any where nearby to spend the money. At that time my thoughts were often around the fact that in one of my cultures I was the richest person for miles and miles, and in my other culture, I was way under the poverty level. That kind of fence-sitting can mess with your mind!
Now that I live in a house with a solid roof, and have survived the putting-the-kids-through-college stage, the money isn’t as tight. But sometimes it is still a little game for me to see if I can make do or make “something” out of “nothing,” just because I can.
November 9th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
Excellent advice.
November 10th, 2009 at 8:36 am
That’s an important distinction not jut for money but also for time.
November 10th, 2009 at 10:27 am
That’s a good motto: Is this the best use of my money? I often think that. Sometimes a vacation or something totaly frivolous is a good use of money.
I remember one time when we were very broke. My husband had been transferred and was living out of town all week. One beautiful weekend when he was home, we decided on the spur of the moment, to take the kids out of school for a few days, take the time off work, and head to the beach. It went on a credit card, but it was off season, and we stayed in a room with a kitchen, so rather inexpensive. We paid it off very quickly. Do my children remember we were broke? No, they remember what fun we had just relaxing and playing for a few days. I’ve always thought that was a good use of our money, and even our credit card. The interest we paid for the month or two was small.
November 10th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
this advice is so very apt and you have continued to provide a thoughtful helpful mix of valuable posts – thank you. I am tweeting this:
I don’t ask myself, “Can we afford this?” Instead, I ask:
Is this the BEST USE of our money?
Valuable guide.
It is akin to my mother’s advice when i was trying to decide whether to buy a lovely yet somewhat expensive sweater with my hard-earned money in high school: “Set asside the price, honey, what is the cost per wear?” I bought it and wore it happily for a decade – it was that well-made and in one of my 2 favorite colorx
November 11th, 2009 at 9:29 am
very good advice….a little foresight is far better than 20/20 hindsight. i have been trying to explain “the best use of money” to a friend who recently paid $8.00 for brownies when she does’nt have a nickel to spare..and believe me there are some people that just do not and will not ever “get it”.
November 11th, 2009 at 9:48 am
Maybe for her that was a good use of money at the time. It would seem one could make them at home for less, but I don’t know the circumstances. I do agree, though, that many will never “get it” regardless.
November 11th, 2009 at 10:32 pm
you are right that things are very clear when you have no money. And, you have to decide what you value when you start getting money. It is hard to do.
I am considered “radically frugal” in my circle of friends. However, I feel like a wild woman – I buy what I want and when I want it (give or take a year or two). Today, I spent $75 on a new couch and love seat. A beautiful secondhand sofa purchased rather spur of the moment for me (6 months of looking).
We have money in the bank, money for retirement, and no debt, however, I am still frugal. I do value a bit of comfort. The couch and love seat we had were so loved that they needed boards to keep us from disappearing into them, and the slip covers were more slip than cover. But I wouldn’t go into debt, pull money out of saving or any other non-frugal choices to be comfortable in my living room.
I chose to show my values with my pocketbook. That is why I am frugal. I started off having no money and having to figure out how to stretch a dollar. Now, it my choice and my values I put in place.
It is hard, when I know I have the money, to resist the “gotta have it” urge. But when I made the mental shift to living my values, it became easier. And when I sat down to really examine what I valued, it became quite clear what I need, what I want and my budget to satisfy them both.
November 12th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
I just don’t understand purchasing something you really need (like a new couch) if you have the money for it without going into debt or depriving yourself in some other way. I, personally, think being comfortable in your own home is important. Having the latest style, not so important, and I could certainly be happy with used furniture if I really liked it and it was comfortable.
November 15th, 2009 at 7:23 am
[...] Frugality Is Not Black and White [...]
November 16th, 2009 at 9:58 am
Everyone must make choices that are right for them but I would certainly take money from savings to buy a sofa to be comfortable in my own home. To me, not much is more than important than a relaxing home and I personally would not be very relaxed in I were falling thru my couch.
November 18th, 2009 at 10:03 am
Excellent insight, especially about consumer commentaries. I find myself asking all the time, “Should we really buy it just because we can?”
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