Why I’ve Been Absent…
I've not been taking my turn posting here as I should mostly because I've been an exceptionally airheaded deputyheadmistress these last few months, partly because my firstborn had her most stressful term at her university ever this last term, partly because I was helping with that stress by picking up her chores (she still lives at home) and proof reading her fifty plus page thesis paper, and partly because she graduated from her university with a 4.0 for the semester and a 3.75 overall, and also because WE'RE HAVING ANOTHER WEDDING!!! And we've had overnight guests nearly every night the last two months.
Our second daughter got married just this past November, and they are having their first child in mid-September, and our firstborn girl is getting married in mid-October, making two weddings and me becoming a Grandmama all within one year. Within 11 months, if we want to be fussy, but we prefer to be EXCITED!
You can read ALL about it here, though you should start from the bottom and go up, you can read just the proposal part here, or I can give you the short and sweet version right now. Or all of the above.
Some time in March, I think, a young man who has been a very good friend to our whole family for the last four years or so approached my husband and asked if he could court our oldest girl. We asked him to wait until she finished school, and then we thought that wasn't fair, and we asked him to wait 'til she finished her thesis, which she didn't finish when she'd planned, so he had to wait an agonizing extra day, poor lad and didn't get to talk to her until April Fool's.=)
He's wonderful, he treats her like a princess and obviously adores her, and she loves him and he has a wonderful family, and it's SO exciting.
I feel like I've said all I have to say about frugal weddings, and unfortunately, that's all I have in my head regarding frugalities these days. So I'll have to share our frugal plans thus far anyway.
The dress came from a thrift shop- she just looked in on the off chance there would be something she liked, and there was something she loved. Turns out, it was half price, so it was only 20.00. It needs some altering, but her sister is a seamstress, so that works out well. She's still looking for a veil she likes- today she looked at Hobby Lobby, using a half price coupon, but I am not sure she found what she wanted (she's spending the week with the groom's family helping them with a project).
Her engagement ring is a family heirloom, and the wedding rings will either be designed by the groom and purchased through Etsy, or it will be another family heirloom (he's still working on details). Etsy is a wonderful place for beautiful, unique handcrafted items at good prices. He asked me if she felt strongly about gold and diamonds, and I said yes, she felt strongly that they were not necessary.
The bridesmaid's dresses are regency dresses made from the pattern at sensibility.com, which our seamstress daughter will sew. Bridesmaids are four of our girls and the groom's little sister, and there's one flower girl who was named after the HG (there are actually at least three young ladies I know named after the HG, plus the grandbaby on the way if she's a girl). Groomsmen will wear blue dress shirts with a pink hankie tucked in. No ring-bearer.
The flowers are also simple- one dozen pink rosebuds, and the bride will hand a rosebud to each bridesmaid and keep the rest for her bouquet, along with a hankie that was once a bonnet the groom's great-aunt made him when he was an infant which he wore coming home from the hospital. For the flower girl- we haven't talked about it yet, but my thoughts are pink and blue carnations and tearing the petals out for the flower girl to toss. Or we'll start drying flowers now from our gardens. We haven't any hydrangeas though, so would be limited to pink petals.
Decorations are simple- mainly focused on reams of blue tulle and white Christmas lights (if you know an inexpensive source for tulle, let us know). We bought most of the lights from a thrift shop when our second girl got married, used them for Christmas and now will be using them again for another wedding. There will be an arch- members of our church bought one for their wedding and they now loan it out when others from church are getting married. There's also a huge selection of vases, candles, and silk flowers available to borrow from other church members. These get passed around from wedding to wedding, and we contributed some things in it from our last wedding.
Invitations are from the local printer. Address labels are from iPrint.com because we can put a photograph of the couple on them and their prices are very reasonable. Paper for programs is purchased using a credit from Shoplet.com (thanks, Kim!), and a few odds and ends will be purchased with Swagbucks gift cards.
My mother is buying the cake from a co-worker as her wedding gift.
We're still looking for a photographer, because the girl who took photographs for our wedding last year graduated from university this year, and probably won't be around.
The guestbook- a quilting friend is again supplying her services for a quilted guestbook. We pay for supplies only (maybe that's where we'll spend our swagbucks).
Location- because we need a large venue (the groom has lived here for 18 years), we rented the community center where our second girl had her reception. This costs us 100 dollars. It's not fancy, but it is large, light, well lit, and the folding chairs are white. We are immensely blessed because this community center shares a grassy verge with a lovely old historical home open for visitors and special events, so we'll use it as our 'ready room' and take photographs there. Last year they quoted me fifty dollars, this year only 35.00. Yes, I know this is amazing! They seat seventy, so if we could have kept the guest list down, we'd have used it for the wedding, but just with our families that's not really possible, and it's even less possible for them to keep the guest list down that low if they have any friends in at all. Three of our closest family friends are families that have a combined size of over 30 people, and our own relatives would probably total from 20-25. The groom's family would probably be at least two dozen as well.
Music- recorded, played on a sound system provided by friends. And the HG will walk down the aisle to a piece composed by her beloved himself.
Let us pause here for twitterpations and romantic and happy sighs.
Wasn't that fun?!
After the cake, those who choose will change clothes and head out to Shasta and the EC's place for an old fashioned hymn sing, hot dog and marshmallow roast. The happy couple will be seen off the premises not with birdseed, not with bubbles, not with rice, but with sparklers which we'll purchase on sale after the Fourth of July. The groom, you see, has something of a reputation as a maker of things that go boom just for fun. He's had youtube videos of his efforts in that direction removed as violations of their terms of service, and he and his friends have attempted to get in the Guiness Book of World Records for various fire related escapades. His childhood nickname, I am told, was briefly Sparky.
To sum up, these are the frugal principles and 'what's in our hand' things that are going into our second frugal wedding in 11 months:
Come from families that never throw anything away.
Cultivate skills such as sewing, music making, photography and sound system working, or cultivate friends who did.
Have a generous Grandmama.
Have quixotic and simple tastes.
Do not buy into the shockingly successful marketing campaign of the DeBeers family. Diamonds are cold, clear, rocks that will later cut your baby's skin when you're changing diapers. They are not your best friend.
Live in a small, quirky midwestern towns where community centers are common and seldom very much (we actually get two days for the price of one just because this is a small quirky midwestern town).
Consider using the marked down decorations and accoutrements from a holiday for a wedding (a friend of mine had an elegant array of gold decorations picked up in the after Christmas sales, we are using the fourth of July sparklers and white Christmas lights, a rehearsal dinner we know of had a fiesta theme and used Cinco De Mayo decorations).
Be flexible.
Do not be ashamed of thrift shop wedding dresses- nobody needs to know anyway if you are embarrassed by that (we're rather proud).
Have generous friends.
Share wedding things with one another.
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7 Responses to “Why I’ve Been Absent…”
May 22nd, 2009 at 11:48 am
If you need flower petals, you might ask a florist, usually they have petals b/c they fall off the flowers. I think they’ll give them away for free.
May 22nd, 2009 at 12:35 pm
As far as cheap tulle goes, you can usually get 40 or 50 percent off coupons from the Jo-Ann Fabrics website. One cut of by-the-yard fabric counts as one item.
May 22nd, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Ooh, neat idea! Thanks. Flower petals scattered about a tabletop also make a pretty decoration for a brunch or tea.
May 25th, 2009 at 12:03 am
“Do not buy into the shockingly successful marketing campaign of the DeBeers family. Diamonds are cold, clear, rocks that will later cut your baby’s skin when you’re changing diapers. They are not your best friend.”
LOVE THIS!
May 25th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
My girls (ages 16 and 14) and I recently watched the Martha Stewart “Weddings” video and were inspired by all the things that one can do to make a beautiful wedding without spending a lot of money. We are a few years from weddings in our family, so this gives us some time to brush up on our cake decorating skills, paper flower making, etc. Even though Martha Stewart features fancy and expensive things, the video was good for teaching us to see how we could achieve a similar effect on the cheap. For example, one section featured table settings and just covering rented solid tablecloths with tulle or other sheer fabric made the reception look lovely.
It sounds like your daughter’s wedding will be special and beautiful!
May 26th, 2009 at 10:59 am
Sophie, thanks for the tip about online coupons for Jo-Anne’s. We went this Sunday and found that the tulle was half off, so we bought a massive amount, and then we bought bridesmaid dress fabric and notions for 40 percent off.
June 5th, 2009 at 7:50 am
So fun! And lovely and romantic… I’ve been looking into frugal wedding options like this, and I love how it all came together so beautifully for y’all…
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