Cheerful Frugality Budgets For Better, For Worse
My brother emailed to ask if I had an extra Dave Ramsey book lying around. Yes!!!
(Incidentally, I didn't--and I haven't seen one at a thrift store in ages. Sign of the times?)
I'm so happy that he and his wife will be working a budget together as they begin their marriage. Here are a few things I wish I could tell them, but won't:
--Your first budget won't be your last. Expect that it won't work 100% the first time. Or the 2nd time. And maybe not even the 3rd.
--Keep trying, because you learn more with every try. Even if that month's budget didn't square, you still saved more money than if you had flown by the seat of your pants.
--Your wife will breathe easier knowing those numbers (whatever they are!) than if you had taken care of everything yourself. Sharing the burden makes you feel like a team.
--Solving problems together can draw you closer than a romantic movie or a walk on the beach.
Of course, I'm the numbers geek in my relationship, and having concrete goals and limits makes me cheerful like nothing else! What about you? How has working a budget impacted your marriage for better or for worse?
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6 Responses to “Cheerful Frugality Budgets For Better, For Worse”
April 20th, 2009 at 8:23 am
I know that “big sister” feeling well!
HUbby and I have grown so much through creating a budget together. It’s a great exercise in putting our own wants aside for the good of the family. Also, for us, it’s been wonderful to see how God has worked through our finances – both the good decisions and the bad ones.
Don’t forget to tell your brother about the Town Hall for Hope on the 23rd – there’s probably one close to him.
April 20th, 2009 at 11:27 am
Merideth: Why DON’T you tell him? He may appreciate it and it may open up a conversation with you that would help him.
April 21st, 2009 at 8:55 am
I found a Dave Ramsey book on Amazon.
April 22nd, 2009 at 5:55 pm
I don’t think our marriage would have failed without a budget, but it certainly would have been more strained. we find that having a budget gives us both a sense of more control over our lives — we go out to eat about once very three months, but we never have to worry about paying the rent on time.
When we first go married we sat down and worked out a plan to pay off our student loans. And we’ve done it. A budget we agree on means that we’re on the same page about our life goals as well. I would actually recommend doing it *before* you get married, as part of the counseling process!
April 24th, 2009 at 10:32 am
A written budget and the process that is required to get it on paper has absolutely impacted our marriage positively. During that process we naturally talk about priorities and values. And clearly presenting the numbers is a good reminder to me to respect my husband more in all the hard work he does to bring home the income and for him to respect me for the work I do to stretch those funds. When I know that he knows it is hard to shop within our grocery budget, for instance, I am affirmed in my role and we have a lot more respect and thankfulness for the other. When we are on the same page with our finances, we are on the same page for our life. Our faith, budgeting and the conference “Love and Respect” (based on the book) have been great helps in our relationship.
April 28th, 2009 at 9:55 am
We’ve definitely benefitted from budgeting. For us, a lot of our savings have come from using cash when possible. Not vs. credit cards, which we try not to use at all, but vs. debit cards from our bank account for $3 here and $1.75 there. It’s too hard to keep up the checkbook that way!
So, each paycheck we both get $20 for whatever, whether it’s fast food, drinks, books, anything.
And, we go grocery shopping every two weeks now with $240 in cash. No more “popping in” for this, that or the other thing! (We’re blessed with decent storage/extra fridge and freezer space, which is necessary to make that work.) And you know what? It really does make a difference.
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