Giving and Misplaced Frugality
Hi! I'm Mrs. Micah and I blog about all things personal finance at Finance for a Freelance Life. I also run a small blog consulting business and blog on blogging at BlogCrafted. If you like this post, why not subscribe to my daily posts?
I'm a fan of giving presents that'll mean something to the recipient, rather than just giving because you're "supposed to." Those sorts of presents can easily be frugal, something handmade with love, or a non-physical gift (like a babysitting coupon book for a couple you know).
Unfortunately, this exposes us to another pitfall: equating handmade, frugal, and non-physical gifts with meaningful gifts.
Suppose, for example, that a person chooses to pick up random things that catch her eye at yard sales. She ends up spending only $10 on her friend for Christmas, but gets her a wide array of presents. To her, this is awesome.
But from her friend's perspective, she'd rather not have received a present at all. Why? Because the gifts are a couple pieces of bric-a-brac, some candle-holders which don't really go with her decor, and a serving plate she has no space for.
She's actually received a load of guilt. If she disposes of it right away, she'll start worrying that her friend will notice or that she's a bad person for not appreciating the "thought." If she keeps it around, then it'll take up space in her house and leave her constantly evaluating when she can get rid of it.
Or she could have been remembering that her friend wanted to read Jane Austen's novels and picked her up yard sale and thrift store copies for a few bucks. In that case, it really is a meaningful, well-thought-out gift. And frugal to boot!
Same things apply to homemade gifts. The amount of time and effort that goes into homemade items increases the potential guilt if people don't want them. It's easier to say "Eh, she bought it at a yard sale, I don't have to keep it" than "She spent hours picking out the fabric and sewing this, I'll chuck it."
I gave quilts to a number of my college roommates and friends for birthdays and other occasions. In each case, I matched the colors to their overall style and even to coordinate with their sheet sets. It wasn't precisely frugal, but I think I didn't give anyone a quilt they disliked or wanted to get rid of.
So if you're looking for frugal alternatives this Christmas, great! Just keep in mind that inexpensive and thoughtless is worse than nothing at all. Use your frugality to find creative items that are perfect for your recipients!
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7 Responses to “Giving and Misplaced Frugality”
November 30th, 2008 at 6:01 am
[...] post-Thanksgiving, everyone! This Sunday’s Frugal Hacks post is on giving and misplaced frugality. It’s a reminder that while getting good deals on presents is certainly a useful pursuit, [...]
November 30th, 2008 at 8:29 am
This is one of the reason I like to give food. I try to make a wide variety so everyone gets a couple of a lot of different things. It also increases the chance they will really like one or two, like most of the rest and can give away what they don’t like.
November 30th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
You are so right – you can give meaningful gifts if you put thought into it. Thanks for the great blog – and for encouraging us to still “give” even during a time when everyone is considering not giving at all.
December 1st, 2008 at 8:55 am
[...] subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!Didn’t you love Mrs. Micah’s post about giving and misplaced frugality? It echoes my earlier story about how one cheap Scrooge learned to spend more on [...]
December 1st, 2008 at 10:47 pm
Excellent post. It’s all about knowing your recipients. I did a blog series back in August about living on one income, and in my post devoted to giving gifts on a budget, I stated that it’s better to give nothing than to give thoughtlessly. Frugally finding gifts is great, but it’s pointless if it isn’t something the recipient will like, want, or use.
December 3rd, 2008 at 9:39 pm
Thank you for posting this! I think the whole idea of giving gifts is to give something meaningful no matter how much money you spend (or not.)
August 30th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
i think if you want to do something handmade as a gift then food is a great option. whether they eat it or throw it out, no one expects it to be kept around.
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