Keep What’s in Your Hand
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We’ve been doing the frugal thing with more or less success for some 26 years- many times because there simply wasn’t any money, so we had to make do with what we had. However, I’ve noticed recently I feel stale, and I’ve slacked off. We’ve thrown away more food over the last couple of months than I could have purchased 20 years ago, and I am ashamed.
I thought it might help to spend more online time with other frugal zealots. I wanted a refresher, a reminder, a tool to spur me on to do better with saving money. I added a couple extra blogs to my bloglines subscriptions and I joined a couple lists- all frugal oriented, according to their descriptions.
And maybe I just got unlucky, but something I’ve noticed is that a lot of the frugal tips on saving money are really about spending; money. It reminds me of a recent visit to a trendy little discount store near us. Everything they have is new, but they claim it is drastically marked down. It may be, but most of it is still more than I would pay. However, they do sometimes have some really amazing sales, where their discounted items are actually marked down to a price I’m willing to pay.
I wander the aisles of that store looking for those really, really good deals. Recently I picked up an adorable candle shaped like a miniature wedding cake- it was 2.00, marked down from 5.00. I bought some deep purple votive candles, also for the wedding. These were marked down to about a quarter per candle. I bought my girls some boy’s basket ball shorts (these are more modest, and my girls like to wear them with a denim top for swimming in our creek). I picked up some large bottles of flavored coffee syrups- several varieties, to use at the wedding where we hope to have a coffee bar, and I bought three or four other things just because they were so cute I couldn’t resist.
When the cashier rang out my purchases she looked at my receipt and brightly said, “You save 126.00 today!”
Well, no, I did not. I spent fifty. I did not ’save’ 126 dollars because if most of those items had not been on sale I would not have purchased them at all. If I am not buying an item that eventually I would have purchased anyway at a regular price, then I really didn’t save. I spent. Here’s how to tell- are you paying them or are they paying you?
I know this an be a difficult concept, so let me put it a different way. If you’re the one paying out the money, you’re spending. You may be spending less than you would have if you hadn’t found the item on sale. You may be able to afford to spend that money, in which case, there is nothing wrong with spending it. Retail organizations and purveyors of junk have to pay their employees and eat just like the rest of us. But don’t confuse spending with saving.
Let’s look at a hypothetical example: Cover girl make-up is on sale somewhere, say, half off. And you have a coupon that enables you to take another dollar or two off some item, so you can get a Cover Girl lipstick for .50. Or let’s even make it a quarter. Great deal, right?
Actually, that depends. For me, that would mean I spent a quarter I did not need to spend. I almost never, ever wear make-up, and when I do, I can’t wear Cover-Girl. Makes me break out. I would get more for my quarter if I tossed in a fountain and made a wish. It would be worth the quarter IF you wear Cover-Girl, and you will be able to use that new lipstick before it expires, or if you know somebody who does and you want to give them a gift. It would be worth it if you wanted to decorate somebody’s car or bathroom (only the windows and mirrors, not the paint job) and you planned on buying some window paint anyway. There may be other situations I am not envisioning. But if you can get buy without the Cover Girl lipstick- and you would have gone without if it weren’t on sale- even a quarter is not a good price.
Here’s where I am coming from. We have been so poor we had no food in the house and no money coming in to buy more food for another 24 hours. We had two eggs between us and the next 24 hours, and I dropped one and broke it.
We have been so poor we could not afford to get our power turned on and we lived out of an ice chest and went to bed and rose with the sun.
We have been so poor we couldn’t run the heat in our bedroom, and glasses of water literally froze at night.
When I was pregnant with my first child I owned two pairs of maternity pants and maybe four shirts. My mother bought them for me. For the entire pregnancy I alternated between those two pairs of pants. I was so sick of those clothes by the time she was born I could hardly stand it.
Granted, that was all a very long time ago, and I spend money I do not need to spend all the time now- but I still just don’t relate to saving money by spending three times as much as I would have otherwise because it’s on sale.
Here’s what I consider frugal:
Thrift shops- and even there, you have to be careful.
beans, rice, potatoes
cooking with sour milk
Making your own yogurt, bread, cream cheese, pizza, biscuit mix, bread crumbs (honestly? I cannot believe people BUY bread crumbs), desserts, snacks, laundry soap, household cleaners, etc. From scratch.
Cloth diapers purchased at a thrift shop, yard sale, or given to you buy a friend.
Checking out a movie from the library instead of renting one at Blockbuster or going to the theater (At one point in our lives we went over a decade without seeing a movie in the theater, and my oldest children were in their teens before I rented a movie instead of borrowing one from the library)- or better yet, reading aloud together and/or playing a game and/or singing
Popcorn- not microwave- instead of chips
No boxed cereals
Realizing hamburger helper is not a cheap meal when you buy the boxed stuff, and making it from scratch.
Making it do
Going without
Using it up
Wearing it out.
I’m not trying to put down anybody who doesn’t do those things, I do not do them all anymore, either. There’s nothing hyper spiritual about baking your own bread and making your own laundry soap and going without boxed cereals- although there is some spiritual discipline to living within your means. I’m not belittling those who save money by spending more than I would on new stuff- I do buy new stuff now, too. We’re not that poor anymore.=) I’m just thinking that surely some of the people on those same ’saving money’ lists are closer to being in the same boat we once were in than they are comfortable admitting- and they are looking for some more serious money saving ideas than how to spend more money buying stuff you weren’t going to buy at all before you found out about that sale. We all do better at saving our money when we are accurate about the distinction between spending and saving.
20 Responses to “Keep What’s in Your Hand”
August 15th, 2008 at 7:11 am
Great post! Recently, I’ve been whittling down our food budget from $800/mo (for 7 people, almost
to about $400-500/mo. (I know it could be less, but that’s where we are.)
People who’ve watched me have asked about “how much did you save at the store?” It’s such a hard concept to explain…. or for them to understand. I didn’t “save” because I would never pay their full prices in the first place. $5/# for chicken? I don’t think so!
August 15th, 2008 at 7:36 am
That was supposed to be an “eight)” but it turned it into a smily. How funny!
August 15th, 2008 at 8:11 am
Great post and reminder that if I didn’t need the item..it’s not a deal no matter what the price! The greatest gifts I have given myself, my hubby and my kids are the things you posted about. The difference between wants and needs, the freedom that frugality brings, and getting off the merry-go-round of materialism. We now have 25 biddies that will provide us with fresh, brown eggs in a few months. Both of our boys are in college, working, living within their budgets and know where the local Dollar General and GW Boutique are. I am finishing my BS and working out of my home. Our wants meet our needs…that is true peace. Thanks for the post and reminder! Kim in NC
August 15th, 2008 at 9:26 am
I could not agree more. One of my annoyances is when someone tells me about ALL the money she saved at a major supermarket in our area. The supermarket uses those aggravating loyalty cards so it puts how much you saved this trip and how much you saved year-to-date at the bottom of the receipt. You didn’t really save that money. They just jack the price up to give you a reason to use their loyalty card. In fact, their “loyal” price is pretty expensive.
August 15th, 2008 at 9:42 am
Not to belittle all those CVSers out there, I also just can’t grasp the concept of buying all that stuff to get ECB’s, especially if I wouldn’t have bought it in the first place. I guess with CVS, you shouldn’t be brand specific, but why buy 3 Venus shavers just to get ECB’s or money off, when you can buy one, and get the refills and save on all that waste when you throw them away? Maybe some frugal CVSers aren’t so worried about being green as I am.
August 15th, 2008 at 9:53 am
Checking out a movie from the library instead of renting one at Blockbuster
Depends where you are. At my library, it’s $1.25, or $2.50 for new releases. At Blockbuster, it’s $.50, new releases excluded, or $1.00 on weekends.
August 15th, 2008 at 10:14 am
Excellent post.
What Jules said is part of the reason I don’t CVS either.
August 15th, 2008 at 10:42 am
[...] Deputy Headmistress has this post at Frugal Hacks: Keep what’s in your hand. [...]
August 15th, 2008 at 10:58 am
I don’t CVS, either, and to be honest, I am not particularly worried about being green, but I am worried about being wasteful.
In some cases, I can see getting the extra things to use in gifts and care packages, or to donate to women’s shelters- but the one time I tried the CVS thing, the things I would have had to buy to get those ECBs were things I could buy at a different store for literally 1/4th of the CVS price- and only one of them was something I would ever have used myself anyway. I just couldn’t see how it was worth it.
August 15th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Just thought I would point out that sometimes it is actually cheaper to buy some of those items ready-made…specifically if you find a great sale. It is actually cheaper for us to BUY hamburger, chicken, and tuna helper when it is on sale at our grocery store for $1/box and we have coupons. We stock up on these sales and these work out to be a quick, cheap meal for us.
I agree with you on the waste issue however. That I will never understand! I also don’t purchase anything just because it is a good deal as that got us into a lot of debt…but they were such good deals
August 15th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
We tend to the extreme frugality b/c right now we have to. But even so I did get lured into the buying stuff I don’t need with the drug store games. Now I’m learning to play their games for things I need and will use only.
I hope that one day I won’t have to be so frugal, but still will.
August 15th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
How true! A good quote from Henry David Thoreau goes something like “Things are more easily gotten than gotten rid of”. I had a similar experience this morning at the grocery store. I stopped at a second, more expensive store after my regular shopping trip to buy boneless skinless chicken for 1.69/lb (A price I haven’t seen that low in a long time) and there were also beef roasts on sale for 1.99/lb. After I spent $65 on meat, I’d saved $85! What a deal! Except I would never, ever, ever pay $4-5 a pound on chicken or beef roast.
I think *that* is the essence of frugality.
It’s not a deal if you don’t need it, wouldn’t have bought it anyway, or costs more to take care or it.
August 15th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Conserving water, hot and cold air is frugal.
DOB has taken to collecting water from the heating shower, air conditioning system, and dehumidifier, and dumping them in the washing machine for use on clothes. It only saves a few bucks a month, but then it only takes a few seconds.
He also was extolling the virtues (in summer) of shutting off the shower while lathering. I told him it wouldn’t work if you were using the shower as therapy for sore shoulders after nursing twins all day, but if you’re not, that does save quite a bit of water.
I’m all about ways to save money that involve less work. Bathing children less often (better for their skin, too!). Rewearing the same clothes, when possible. (Hard with little kids in mud season). Planning meals to mess up fewer dishes.
I’ve also been trying to teach myself to live with less air conditioning, but after five summers in the midwest I still wimp out at 75 degrees. Sigh.
August 15th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
A few weeks ago I bought a few things a JcPenney on clearance for $2 each. They said I “saved” nearly $100! But, like you say, there is no way I would actually ever pay full price for any of that. Thirty dollars for a baby dress that can only be worn a couple months? I don’t think so.
August 15th, 2008 at 5:58 pm
Great post! That’s something that irks me, too. I can’t stand the sales that use the slogan, “The more you spend, the more you save.” No. The more you spend, the less money you have. (Except for unlikely situations where you’re just right at the line where your percentage off increases if you buy some cheap little thing and you actually do end up spending a little less, but you still could have spent way less at a thrift store instead of a store with glossy ads.)
I read a quote years ago by whoever was mayor of NY City at the time. There was an opportunity to buy some cheap land, but he passed on it, and he explained to his critics that twenty five cents for two elephants is a good deal, but only if you have a quarter, and only if you have two elephants. I wish I could find the exact wording and the person who said it. If you ever see someone looking at something at a store and saying to herself, “Do I really need two elephants?”, it’s probably me.
August 15th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
I felt an odd sense of relief reading this post, especially the beginning. So true.
I keep a copy of _The Tightwad Gazette_ on hand for when I need a refresher or inoculation.
I’m afraid it’s all relative, though. Just to play devil’s advocate, let’s look at some of the things on your list:
Make your own yogurt, bread, cream cheese, pizza, biscuit mix, bread crumbs…, desserts, snacks, laundry soap, household cleaners, etc. From scratch. - One could argue that you don’t need cheeses, pizza or desserts. And that most things can be cleaned with plain water. And that maybe some things don’t need to be so clean.
Cloth diapers purchased at a thrift shop, yard sale, or given to you buy a friend. - Don’t kids go diaperless in some cultures? (I swear I heard this incomprehensible thing somewhere.)
Popcorn- not microwave- instead of chips. - You don’t need any of these. Grow your own carrots instead of chips?
I am always looking for ways to remind myself of what I really need, what I actually like, and what really makes me happy. And of all my nearly limitless fabulous choices, which ones are the best value? When can I borrow or rent something instead of buying it. How can I use something I already have in a creative way instead of buying something? Should I just make changes in my lifestyle to reduce my expenses or increase my happiness, even if they seem drastic?
And so I also look at blogs. But mostly I like _The Tightwad Gazette_ best. However, see also “Early Retirement Extreme” and “20 Year Challenge” for some examples lower on the spending totem pole.
August 15th, 2008 at 11:48 pm
Those “you saved $xxx” is so misleading as well as those store card programs. A grocery store opened close to my house and my husband and I decided to check it out during a “staples only” shopping trip. I couldn’t believe how high the overall prices were in the store to pay for the “discounts” offered by the card program. But the thing that really upset me is that they set the store up so you couldn’t camparison shop easily. For example, I found dried beans in 3 locations of the store several asles apart. A normal shopper would grab the beans and go, they wouldn’t walk back and forth like I did to check the prices. the only good thing about this store is that they are the only grocery store I’ve gone to that carries Borax. Now I can finally try using it as a thrifty cleaner!
August 16th, 2008 at 9:14 am
I am on the same page…those are things we try to do (except for the make your own cleaners mostly) around our home. Thanks!
August 20th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Loved this post and the ensuing “conversation” from frugal friends! Thanks, everybody, for sharing (not a lot of my real life friends are frugal)
I just wanted to add that I do have a friend who is one of those “Super Couponers” and she manages to get so much stuff absolutely FREE, like the Venus razors and other toiletries from CVS. She has turned it into a ministry where she gives away everything to the women’s shelter, free medical clinic, “goody bags” for teachers, etc.
August 26th, 2008 at 7:43 am
Excellent post! Exactly what I needed to hear today. Thanks!
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