Quit Being a One Woman Show!
I think my main problem with entertaining is that I like to over do everything. Instead of enjoying a simple meal among friends or family, I need to prove my prowess in the kitchen and lay the smack down on my kitchen appliances. I don't know if this is because I like to cook so much because many times I question my sanity when attempting such a project. As I am elbow-deep in dough and trying to make everything from scratch and beautiful, I begin to lose sight of why I would ever want to entertain in the first place. It is my own self-expectations that are so high.
I am trying to exercise my right to be simple and invited my parents over for cinnamon rolls and coffee this weekend. I picked a time that was between the breakfast hour and the lunch hour, a time that I thought would be perfect for a midday snack. I put together the cinnamon rolls the night before and concentrated on putting together fun activities for the children instead of adding more food to our menu. As I was cleaning and getting ready for our company, all I kept thinking was, "What if this isn't enough food? Should I put together an entire brunch instead? Maybe I should make a lunch for them since they might stay late?" I exercised my self control though and stuck to my guns.
My husband and I hid the eggs for the kids, I hardboiled the eggs for egg decorating the next day and we filled the Easter baskets. I headed to bed tired, but was looking forward to the time with my family the next day.
My parents arrived and I pulled the piping hot rolls from the oven. I boiled water for tea and I put a pot of coffee on to share with my dad. We all enjoyed the rolls and shared each other's company while the kids kept busy with the Easter festivities.
And you know what? The rolls were great! No one asked for more food or complained that they thought they were coming for breakfast. The guilt that I felt the night before was all of my own guilt and had nothing to do with my guests.
Think of this when entertaining:
How can I keep things simpler on me? Can your birthday bash be just sharing cake with your family instead of an entire dinner together?
How can I make this less expensive for me? Could you pick a dish that will s-t-r-e-t-c-h instead of a cut of meat as a main dish?
Could I pick a better time? Could you entertain with an inexpensive brunch instead of a fancy supper?
Are my entertaining expectations created by myself or by someone else? Is entertaining a challenge because of the expectations you have put on yourself? Are you your own worse enemy?
Want more like this post? Read on!
- Tips for Moms to Reduce Expenses Moms are most often the bill-payer, grocery shopper, budget monitor,...
12 Responses to “Quit Being a One Woman Show!”
March 25th, 2008 at 6:31 am
Hi. My name is Janel. {hi Janel} I relate to Amy’s story, only I have a cleaning fetish when it comes to company…
This past Thanksgiving was an eyeopener for me. I cooked for a party of 16, didn’t stress at all, cooked (turkey, stuffing, 4 homemade pies, homemade ice cream, veggies…) and served the meal at the time I said I would and ENJOYED EVERY MINUTE OF IT!
When it hit me that I had had so much fun, I pondered why. Although I love entertaining, something about it has always been stressful and makes me put it off. After thinking about why Thanksgiving was so different, I realized I didn’t have to worry about straightening the house! It was family. We piled in as was and I just cooked, decorated the table and enjoyed it.
Since then, I hand the kids a cleaning list – because most of the things I stress about are their messes – and let them clean with motherly reminders of “don’t forget…” I go for a final run through to make sure nothing is too “kid clean” and do my thing in the kitchen. I’ve really enjoyed entertaining ever since!
We had company last night for dinner – a MONDAY night, unheard of here at our house in years past – and had a blast.
Many hands make light work…
March 25th, 2008 at 7:35 am
This really speaks to me, because I am definitely of the school of making sure there is too much food rather than not enough. This always makes me go overboard. I need to find more opportunities to just not do SO much!
March 25th, 2008 at 7:39 am
Boy, did you hit the nail on the head. If I’m not careful, entertaining CAN become a one-woman show. The thing I must constantly remind myself is, it’s NOT about ME. Yes, I will have fun of having my friends over, but when it becomes a “Look at How Domestic and Martha-Stewart-Like I am!,” it’s no longer hospitality.
March 25th, 2008 at 8:35 am
Ummm… are you sure I didn’t write this post? Because it sort of feels like you are in my head.
Thanks for a great post. I’ll definitely be thinking about this next time I decide to entertain — or next time I think I shouldn’t entertain because it’s too much stress.
March 25th, 2008 at 8:52 am
Amy – Thank you for this post! Love it!
March 25th, 2008 at 10:27 am
I’m big on not making entertaining feel like a burden. I even have pot lucks a lot of times. People are glad to bring something. Then i have time to get the house clean!
Lisa
March 25th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Amy,
This is a great piece!
I too used to try to do to much partially out of a tendency to be more of a Martha instead of a Mary and partly out of a desire to impress. I am much better now and try to keep things simple, and do as much cooking before hand as possible. I can enjoy time with my guests now and have a lot less stress!
March 25th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
I was just reading the ‘More With Less Cookbook’ where it asks when did we get away from ‘come over for dinner’ to now we’re ‘entertaining’? When did we lose the joy of sharing simple food to having to razzle dazzle our guests?
Why become encumbered by our own misguided ‘entertaining’ expectations and end up hating every minute of preparation and fearing the visit – we entirely miss the point of breaking bread together. I, too, will resolve to re-align my own expectations and invite more friends over for simple fare. The cookbook lays out several interesting ‘company’ ideas i think I just might use – including an ice cream supper. Thanks for the reminder!
March 25th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
I think for me, the key is letting my guests know what to expect ahead of time. This Easter I invited friends for a “simple lunch of quiche and fruit.” They offered to bring desert. I made the quiche ahead of time and served it with melon slices and some berries on the side. Because I had told them up front what to expect I didn’t worry about having enough and it was fine.
March 26th, 2008 at 11:33 am
I love the idea of getting together at times other than a big dinner. We have coffee time in the afternoon at our house. This is a time when we drop whatever we are doing and enjoy a cup of coffee and each other’s company. I love to invite people over for coffee time. It is relaxed and we always get in a good visit.
April 16th, 2008 at 8:36 am
[...] that I’ve identified and overcome my hang ups about entertaining, (check the comments) we’ve been having lots of fun with dinner [...]
April 16th, 2008 at 8:36 am
[...] that I’ve identified and overcome my hang ups about entertaining, (check the comments) we’ve been having lots of fun with dinner [...]
Leave a Comment