Great post! This actually highlights something that I worry about-that some of the stuff we all talk about might actually be discouraging to someone just starting out. One of my fears is that folks will just think “Oh, I could never do that” rather than to see that we are all in different places at different times.

Very thoughtful post, Amy. Definitely something to remember!

Your little parable brings GREAT encouragement, because I am defined by being Late to Every Party, this one included. Thanks, Amy.

deb meyers

Great article! We started out with no money early in marriage and HAD to do all the thrifty things. It is such a joy to look back and see how I learned little by little to do better and more resourseful. I still practice many things but because of our life lived being careful we have the choice now to do it or not. I have loosened up in some areas where I feel that the cost in time to be more thrifty does not benefit the time I could spend with family or other things. Things such as drying clothes occasionally when it gets backed up or life is busy with ball or church activities. I only state this to encourage those who don’t have the choice yet. I have been there and I want you to see that the sacrificing you are making will give you freedom later to loosen up some. Do not grow weary- one day at a time.

Wow, thank you all for your sweet comments. I am so proud of this entry and it has took me so long to find a good way to share about it, that would not offend or be unkind. Thank you for your kind words- they made my day!

Amen, amen, amen! Frugality is different for everyone because our priorities are all different. Some save money is some categories to but organic produce. Some squeeze every dime to have extra for a new gadget. Others like the overall “how much can I *not* spend?” LOL The trick is to share ALL out ideas because we never know which ones will benefit someone else!

Great post!

Too true, too true. I think people (maybe mostly women?) do this in so many areas – in parenting/mothering, expressions of faith, dedication to education and more. Peer pressure and the risk of disdain for others that it brings can bring with it more than just the desire for a bigger house, the latest clothes and so on. These Frugal Hackers were engaging in peer pressuring just as surely as someone who came along and said, “You play games? Why we gave up games years ago when we discovered the fun of heading out to the local bar for $10 glasses of wine! You should try it!” I think we’d do better in our relations (personal and global) if we met people where they are instead of trying to create communities of the just-like-me.

Maybe frugality is more of a heart’s desire or mindset than a list of do’s and don’ts? It’s about an INDIVIDUAL looking at what they want from life…what they want to GIVE, what they want to HAVE, and who they want to BE and then deciding what vehicle(s) best gets them there. What makes people feel that they just HAVE to burst someone elses bubble is beyond me (though I’m sure I’ve been guilty enough of it, with my “speak first, think later” personality), but I say don’t let ‘em get to you. YOU do what YOU know is right for YOUR family and if they don’t like it…too bad. They aren’t living your life.

I loved this post and had to stop to comment. This is sometimes a hard line for us women to walk– share how we do things without condemning others for their different choices. I am happily frugal now, but I have had friends in the past who turned me off to creative frugality by disdaining anyone who did not practice “frugal their way.” And that disdain, that unspoken message that we should be ever progressing toward someone else’s mark, is a big turn-off.

The harder way is to pray, discern, calculate and experiment to find the frugal practice that we are called to in our own families. And to share our findings with open and cheerful hearts with others, ready to respect and receive their contributions, without judgment. We adopt and discard the practices we pursue for a million different reasons, but respect and encouragement are always a good fit.

Very good post! It is helpful to realize that everyone is at a different stage in their life and maybe they want to spend more on food than we do because they have it and feel it is healthier?

Maybe FH#4 bought cereal because she got it for free or for $.50-.80 a box…….that is why it was cheaper, however cardboard from a recycle dumpster can work.
What about the FH who gets her games from the garbage can behind a store?
Yeah……

I love how everyone tries to think of how I could have taken the scenario further (not buying cold cereal, only buying free cereal, etc…) I think I missed my calling as a playwright…

Thank you for all your invaluable feedback on this and sharing your own experiences on your blogs!

[...] of related: See Amy’s post here. Related posts |This newspaper knows that frugal people are pretty cool |Some thoughts on [...]

I love this post! I have been struggling with trying to be frugal and when I see that others are doing “better” I feel like I am not doing well enough. It’s good to be reminded that it all starts with little steps.

Of course one of the biggest things here is not to be judgemental of the ways others save money …

I try to be very frugal, but sometimes you have to step back and look at the larger picture … like if I get offered three extra hours of OT (which comes out to over $30/hr), it might be worth it to get a pizza that night because I now don’t have time to cook …

Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I am a “newbie” and have considered deleting my blog because I sometimes feel like what I am doing/saying is old news to everyone else! I now realize that it is ok to be new…and that there are probably other people out there just like me who are just beginning the journey.

[...] Motherload blog, seemed to channel the Four Yorkshiremen in a piece for the Frugal Hacks site. In “Four frugal hackers sitting at the bus stop,” a quartet of frugalists compete to see whose life is the thriftiest.For Amy, this kind of [...]

Enjoyed all of it – and the readers’ comments too.

We used laundry detergent boxes because we never had cold cereal (too expensive).

My dad had a wood lathe because he used his small work-shop to make toys and things for us since we hhad little money, and he’d make extra money by selling toys to the people in town.

Dad would take all the wood scraps; form them with a knife – then we’d all chip in and ‘sand them into ‘shapes’. We’d stain the bare wood with food coloring so we could recognize ‘our pieces’.

We’d think up the game; crayons were usually what we’d mark the colors with; dad used an old black glass-marking pencil for the lay-out.

We’d also fill up the glasses and fruit jars with different levels of WATER; then we’d create music with the sounds – what fun!

Dad would get out some of the pots and pans; the spoons – now we had a ‘band’……..

We’d get out the dictionary; we’d look up a word – the rest had to guess the word after we’d read the meaning – how we learned from that game, and had fun too.

We made a target out of a cereal box; used rubber bands, and used paper-wads from the old newspapers we’d pick up after the market put them out as trash.

We played pick-up-stick; jacks; only 10 cents for each game ‘back then’.

We had an old piano with sticky keys, but it was good enough for all of us to learn on; sing to, and make music (I’m never without music playing or playing it myself).

I guess I could add to my one blog about dealing with the recession – some of these ideas, but in many cases, it seemed as if I might be suggesting things that simply weren’t viable enough in saving a significant amount of money for any one (and possibly they’d sound way too boring).

For me because it was the ‘atmosphere’ – the ‘time’ back in the 1940′s, that made it not ‘frugal’, but simply a smart way to cope with the lack of having much in the way of material things.

To me, frugal is being smart – to others, it’s ‘going without’……

Anyway, I enjoyed my read; linked to it from Merchants – enjoy her blog as well.

[...] There’s room for all of us, even if we are all at different points on our money-saving journeys. [...]