She is very good at requesting and following my requests as well, as difficult as I find it to do for her. This year she solved my pain over this by having my children order gifts from her Sears catalogue while she baby sat them a number of times for me this fall.

To me it becomes a question about the purpose of the gift. What is the purpose of the gift? Is the gift about the giver or the person receiving the gift?

To me the ultimate person in charge of the gift is the giver. They are spending their money and the gift is not a requirement. Therefore the person receiving should always keep that very point in mind. This is a ‘gift.’

A good giver will attempt to give what the person receiving the gifts wants or perhaps needs. A good giver will also learn to let go of their gift gracefully. By this I mean, once the gift is given, the sentiment is given and now the gift is no longer yours. You do not control or own that gift any longer. So if the person chooses to give away that gift or sell that gift, they are dealing with that item and *not* you!

This is a point of contention between my mother-in-law and I. She is not a good gift giver and she expects me to treasure every single thing she has given me. But for example, I just made the executive decision that we don’t need the entire Full House scrapbook collection in my house. This isn’t because I don’t appreciate her, but because… well I live in an 800 sq. foot house and… we have no conceivable use for that gift.

But as I tried to coach and explain to my children, the hardest part about being a good gift receiver is to leave the emotions out of it.

My best example is the year my mother-in-law gave me a counter top grill. I was devastated because she had promised me up and down and all around that she would give me the ironing board I so desperately needed. Since I trusted her, I asked no one else for that item that I needed so badly. Try being a seamstress without an Ironing board!!!

I knew the second that box hit my lap it wasn’t an ironing board. I fought back the tears and did my best to accept my gift.

It turns out I loved that grill and we only just had to send it off to the dump this past year, with nearly 8 years of tri-weekly use. The mechanics were still fine but the non-stick was peeling off.

Since then I’ve learned to be so entirely prepared for her gifts. You can imagine what mental gymnastics I had to perform come up with good things to say about the 10 coats she gave me one Christmas!

Anyhow… this touched a nerve and I guess I should take the subject to my own blog! Sorry for running off with my keyboard!

THANK YOU for writing this!