Cheerful Frugality Thanks You
Lord, please let me remember these words when I open another new flashlight and box of chocolate-covered cherries.
Accepting gifts is a gracious art. Even though I am not its best example, I am lucky that my grandmother modeled it so well.
Accepting gifts with cheerful frugality means being as lavish with thanks as the gift is humble.
No praise can be too over-the-top, no "oh!" of surprise too loud. Not when a giver has invested time and money and thought into your reaction.
Let's face it, not every gift is pure gold--or even something we'd choose in a million years. How do you hide that note of dismay? How do you not have your feelings hurt by yet another gift that you had to buy for yourself?
Call it contentment, call it cheerful frugality, call it crazy--but this works. When you receive any gift as if you are a queen, it becomes the treasure that someone hoped it would be.
For many years, my grandma never even received a Christmas gift--not because her husband couldn't afford one, but because he never noticed. Eventually some of his daughters told him that this was unacceptable.
- So that Christmas eve when my grandpa bought five identical music boxes from the dime store--all for his one wife? "Oh, my! How beautiful! Now I have one for every room in the house!"
- When he ordered the first George Foreman grill from late night TV... "This is the best kitchen product I've ever seen! I've never had a minute steak so tender. Let's order a few more before they sell out completely."
- When he selected a diamond heart from the local overpriced jeweler (an item she would have deemed tacky on any other woman)... She oohed and aahed as expected, but surprised me by wearing it the rest of her life.
With ten children and 30-plus grandchildren, the mountain of presents grew taller each year. Yet each gift was somehow the favorite, the most unique, the most clever. Even when you knew she would never use an item, you never doubted her delight or the twinkle in her eye.
You could have handed her a box of tissues, and you'd leave feeling like you'd found hand-embroidered linen handkerchiefs she hadn't seen since her last trip to Europe. She made you feel great, no matter what you gave.
We may already have our gifts wrapped, tucked in stockings and piled beneath the tree. But tomorrow, as we begin the getting, let's give just a little more.
Let's give our thanks, and do it as generously as our hearts can afford.
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7 Responses to “Cheerful Frugality Thanks You”
December 24th, 2007 at 9:13 am
What a precious reminder. Thank you! I hope you have a wonderful Christmas:)
December 24th, 2007 at 4:05 pm
Thank you (: for this reminder! Very timely. Psalm 107 is quite an exhortation to be thankful. What a blessing thankfulness is (to the giver AND the receiver!)
December 26th, 2007 at 10:42 am
My mother-in-law has been such an example to me. My son and I both need to work on this, however. He did remarkably better this year, but I suspect, it’s because he knew he was getting what he wanted the most. And we made him open that gift last.
December 26th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
Oh — this is so very TRUE!!! I live with people who don’t know how to say thank you!! It’s very embarrassing. Oh me…
THANK YOU for writing this!
December 26th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
Ouch. I need to apologize to my MIL. (But the gift really wasn’t thought out. It was just bought….. But I still should have said thank you.)
December 26th, 2007 at 5:35 pm
Great post, great reminder!
December 27th, 2007 at 3:41 pm
This is so true. I argue this point with my sister-in-law so often. She is the kind of person that won’t accept a gift if it wasn’t bought at the place she specified in the colour and size requested. Or substitute in whatever.
She is very good at requesting and following my requests as well, as difficult as I find it to do for her. This year she solved my pain over this by having my children order gifts from her Sears catalogue while she baby sat them a number of times for me this fall.
To me it becomes a question about the purpose of the gift. What is the purpose of the gift? Is the gift about the giver or the person receiving the gift?
To me the ultimate person in charge of the gift is the giver. They are spending their money and the gift is not a requirement. Therefore the person receiving should always keep that very point in mind. This is a ‘gift.’
A good giver will attempt to give what the person receiving the gifts wants or perhaps needs. A good giver will also learn to let go of their gift gracefully. By this I mean, once the gift is given, the sentiment is given and now the gift is no longer yours. You do not control or own that gift any longer. So if the person chooses to give away that gift or sell that gift, they are dealing with that item and *not* you!
This is a point of contention between my mother-in-law and I. She is not a good gift giver and she expects me to treasure every single thing she has given me. But for example, I just made the executive decision that we don’t need the entire Full House scrapbook collection in my house. This isn’t because I don’t appreciate her, but because… well I live in an 800 sq. foot house and… we have no conceivable use for that gift.
But as I tried to coach and explain to my children, the hardest part about being a good gift receiver is to leave the emotions out of it.
My best example is the year my mother-in-law gave me a counter top grill. I was devastated because she had promised me up and down and all around that she would give me the ironing board I so desperately needed. Since I trusted her, I asked no one else for that item that I needed so badly. Try being a seamstress without an Ironing board!!!
I knew the second that box hit my lap it wasn’t an ironing board. I fought back the tears and did my best to accept my gift.
It turns out I loved that grill and we only just had to send it off to the dump this past year, with nearly 8 years of tri-weekly use. The mechanics were still fine but the non-stick was peeling off.
Since then I’ve learned to be so entirely prepared for her gifts. You can imagine what mental gymnastics I had to perform come up with good things to say about the 10 coats she gave me one Christmas!
Anyhow… this touched a nerve and I guess I should take the subject to my own blog! Sorry for running off with my keyboard!
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