What I am saying is that I will buy something that the person wants–NOT something that I just want to buy because it is cheap.

In most cases this means getting a smaller but desired present than one that looks big and fancy but will not be used.

For instance, I can spend $16 on a big gift basket, but if the people I’m giving it too have very specific food preferences, it will be a waste.

However, I can spend $16 on an item, perhaps modest, that I know they want or need, even if it’s something as unassuming as the new Josh Groban CD.

Spending money differently doesn’t mean spending more money. In some cases, it may behoove me to loosen the pursestrings; in others, not.

The key is finding the gift for the recipient, not the giver.

I don’t get it: your solution to the problem of people who dislike your gifts is to spend more money on them?

…is that what she is saying? I wondered this, too!

Last year I made my bachelor brother three homemade pizza’s, for him to put in his freezer and use when he wanted. He loved it! The children and I make cut-out, frosted/decorated Christmas cookies and I make a few other types of cookies and make plates of those to give to friends and family. Those always go over well and are usually half eaten before the day is out.

For parents, grandparents and great-grandparents, what they LOVE to receive are PHOTO’S! Especially those that aren’t into email/computers. They want pictures they can hold in their hands. All our older extended family live out of state, so we don’t see each other very often, if ever anymore. For the grandmother in a nursing home, I print up pictures at Costco and put them in an inexpensive photo book, being sure to put the names and dates on the back of the photo’s so she knows who everyone is. She loves this and shows it off to al the nurses!

We take a family picture each year to send with our Christmas letter and to make into larger sizes to give as gifts to family. This year, because our oldest son got married (our first wedding) we had a picture of the bride and groom and all the extended family taken and I am going to make 8×10′s of it to give as Christmas gifts to those who are in the picture.

Personally, with so much of our family out of state, I love to get a new family pic of my siblings and their families each year. It is all I could ever want and I let my siblings know that. =)

This year I am giving books! With over two dozen immediate family members, I have to be thrifty, but I have found that you can almost always find an appropriate book for man, woman, or child, and often your paying only pennies+shipping for a good-as-new book on amazon. Even the hard to buy for guys are getting books – one, his own road atlas now that he has his own car.

I’m over half done, and actually enjoying the process!

But we all know “cheap” relatives and friends who are putting NO thought into a gift. They could care less about my gratitude, or anything for that matter—They’re doing it to check off the list. They’re too cheap to put any thought into a gift. They pile up a stock of stuff they don’t like, dont’ want, or got dirt cheap, and then they pawn them off on others, without nary a thought to what someone might like or need.

They made me a potpourri jar with lights six times already. It’s cheap, and it is easy. It requires no thinking or planning on their part. It’s just jumping a hoop on the gift giving list. I’d rather them not give me anything if they’re going to do it with a scrooge-ish heart.

So, yeah, forgive me the “gratitude” part, but I was answering what Meredith began as scoogish-giving.

Now, if someone really put the heart into it, and knew I’d just love that potpourri-and-lights-in-a-jar thing, I’d LOVE IT and appreciate it and display it proudly

You’re right gratitude is important. But giving for the RIGHT reasons on the other side is important as well. We need to do both, be both, and teach our kids both.

Call me scrooge, but I’m honest.

So, when asking for a list, perhaps it would be more effective to ask, “what could you receive that would especially be a blessing?” or “what types of gifts would you appreciate?” or “what sorts of things do you like?” instead of “what do you want?” or “do you have a wish list?”