I was just thinking about this today. I’d rather spend a bit more money and get something the person would actually like, want, or use. Frugality is great, but it is nothing but miserly cheapness when you pawn off something you know good and well the other person will not like or use.

No offense to the make-it-yourself crowd, but if I get another jar of potpourri with Christmas lights inside, I’ll scream

I try to keep spending to a minimum, but I like to buy things that have meaning or usefulness. In order to do this, I have to SHOP ALL YEAR LONG. There is just no getting around it. I have to do it this way if I am going to make it add up by Christmas time.

As Dave Ramsey says, Christmas isn’t hard to plan for. It always falls in December. So don’t wait until November and run around like a chicken with your head cut off!

Oh my! You are so speaking to me! I ask now before I buy for people. I know my cousin will love any body stuff I get her, because money is tight for her, so I stock up on sales at the body shop and bbw. Before I get another toy for a friend’s son, I give him books(which he needs and mom appreciates and I got for 90 percent off last Christmas at the after Christmas sales). I’d rather get someone a $10 starbucks card that will be used than another candle they’ll try to get rid of.

Thank you!

It’s been hard to write through this sinus fog, so forgive me if the premise sounds a little sharp.

Many of us don’t have the luxury of buying every gift. We don’t, nor would I give up the experience of handmade gift giving altogether.

We just choose our gifts a little more carefully these days.

Sad but true–one woman’s perfect gift is another woman’s Goodwill donation! I’ve come to rely heavily on chocolate. You can coat almost anything edible with it, and more often than not the gift is 75% consumed within 30 minutes of its bestowal.

It always drives me crazy when family complains about how hard it is to come up with Xmas gifts and how much time it takes to shop for gifts and don’t know what so and so likes etc. etc. etc.

There is no rule that says you have to wait until November to start stewing about gifts for someone. There is no rule that says you can’t ask someone for ideas if you are drawing a blank.
But complaining about it to me makes me think you are not willing to go the extra mile to come up with a present. It can be hard – yes. It takes time and it takes effort to come up with a present. Money isn’t always the issue. One of the people I know that complains about it, doesn’t have any money worries at all.
Just be cheerful about it. I hate hearing “I hate shopping”. That’s part of gifting…giving – giving time, effort, thought, love. Doing something you maybe don’t enjoy, for the sake of someone else.

I don’t always like to cook meals, clean the house etc. – but you do it b/c you love your family and others.

Put forth a little effort, put forth some love and put on a smile as you prepare for this season.

It’s not all about presents, but a good part of it is about attitude.

Excellent article!

I espcially like the suggestion about giving CONSUMABLE items. I agree with the other poster that the older we get, the less clutter we want to have around. Our older parents and grandparents seem to feel the same way.

It’s hard to know what to give the person who already has everything, but we’ve been finding that simple things, such as gift cards for a gasoline fill up, or twenty nice, crisp ones wrapped up for the grandchildren to choose something they’d like at the after Christmas sales, have been well-received.

One year I made meals for my parents’ freezer so that they wouldn’t have to cook. They enjoyed this very much, and it didn’t cost a lot of money.

I personally love to give food. It doesn’t take much to figure out what people want to eat (everyone is pretty willing to talk about food!). I used to worry that it seemed like a cheap gift until I saw the receipt from my mom’s swiss colony order – the delicious (if I do say so myself!) 14 layer cake I made cost a tenth of the smaller and dryer cake she’d bought.

this was a great post! I really enjoyed it and forwarded it to some friends. Gifts is my love language too and I always want to give something the other person would use rather than get it because it is cheap

[...] A great post on when frugal gifts might not be so frugal, and how you can ensure that your Christmas gifts will be appreciated, can be found at Frugal Hacks. [...]

Thanks for the reminder. After years of buying lotions, perfumes, and cologne for my family members and finding them unused and taking up space years later I’ve decided to just ask for what they want/need. This year the men in my family are getting new belts and socks. I asked every wife/mom what color, size, type so I know what they can use. It’s not fancy but I’m pretty sure that these are items that will be used. Everyone else is getting gift cards for places I know they frequent (gotten by using credit card rewards program). This is the first year that I’ve gotten a few second hand items for my children. And I’ve talked my Mom into refurbishing my old wooden doll house for my four year old rather than buying some crumby plastic toy I know she’ll get bored with. I played with that doll house for ten years at least and with some updates I think she will too.

And I just had a conversation with a friend I’ve had for year about whether or not we were going to be present swapping for birthdays and Christmas. She and I both decided that we prefer to get something special for someone when we find it rather than for a special occasion. So, no hard feelings when I get a gift and she doesn’t and vice verse. That was a nice little load off my shoulders and hers too since we’re both one income families.

I agree, it is discouraging to make something for someone and not feel like it is appreciated. I make things for my daughter if I can because right now, she’s at the stage where she thinks anything I make for her is cool. We are trying to go no toy and no “Made in China” this year due to the recalls, etc, and it makes it hard to find things as nearly everything out there is made there.

Also, we have in the past, given a card with a homeade coupon for lunch or dinner out on us. That helps us budget the money better since we don’t start taking them out until January and we can do one every couple of weeks until they are done. Makes a great gift for those who complain about not getting enough time with us. I think we are doing that this year too. I think most of my family is at that “I don’t need more STUFF” point.

I’ve linked with some thoughts.

We all like to think of nice little surprises that the receiver wouldn’t have thought of themselves or wouldn’t get for themselves even though they would like it. But I’m so bad at it!

Thankfully, I don’t exchange gifts with most friends. But some really like to give and receive gifts, so I do.

So I try to ask them what they want or at least ask them if they have an updated Amazon wish list. (And then I will sometimes buy the item elsewhere, cheaper, and give them the receipt in case they bought it themselves before I got the present to them.)

I do have trouble when people ask me what I want, because it seems creepy like I’m begging for things and because I have trouble thinking of things I want. But I have found two ways to deal with that. My favorite is to ask them to do something that is very easy for them but hard for me. For example, I tell my mom I love when she tapes things off HGTV for me. Which I do. We actually made a bookcase after being inspired by one of those shows! And I have a friend who loves to make jewelry, so I tell her when I see something I’d like.

The other way is to keep my Amazon wish list updated. Because some people insist on buying new stuff.

Another strategy I have is to take ordinary things that I know they want, and package them up in some interesting way. For example, my very first boyfriend had a birthday a few weeks after I met him. I did not know him well enough to know what he liked, but I did know he was almost out of toothpaste and liked cookies. I didn’t think of anything good for the toothpaste but I did make a “Purina Human Chow” bag for the cookies.

And this year, one of my friends is getting a Hot Fuzz gift pack. (“Hot Fuzz” is a movie we both enjoyed.) Inside will be hot fries, a snack I know he likes, and fuzzy socks, which I will instruct him to wear on his wife, who likes to put her cold feet on him, which he doesn’t like. His wife has already confirmed for me that she is willing to try them out. (Did I mention he is really hard to buy for?)

When our children were small we drew names between the cousins so each child was responsible for one gift to one cousin. The adults did not exchange gifts. We only gave something small to the grandparents. Now that our children are older and one is married they decided that they would like to draw names within the family. So each of us is responsible to buy one gift of $35 or less for one person. In this way we can still share in the gift giving without it becoming overwhelming or taking the focus off why we even celebrate Christmas in the first place. We also take part in the Salvation Army Christmas program as a family.

Firstly, can I just say that I don’t know what the laws are in America, but here (Australia) and in many other countries it’s illegal to record programs from the TV unless you will be out while the show is on, watch it once and then dispose of it/tape over it. So recommending something illegal, despite how frugal, is not a good idea. Maybe it’s legal in America, I don’t know…

We’ve always set limits on gifts – for others it is $10 per person.

We have already decided that 2008 will be a “Buy Nothing Christmas”. That’s not to say we will spend _no_ money, but we will be making up vouchers, or cooking meals, things more involved in _serving_ the recipient, not buying some “thing” for them.

I have been shopping year round for years now (and actually do very little, if any, shopping during the “Holiday Shopping Season.” I shop clearance sales all year round, starting the day after Christmas.

For my childrens’ Sunday School teachers, jar mixes have been well-received and I will continue to do those (there are tons of recipes on the web, as well as in resources such as Taste of Home publications).

For aging parents, gift cards to grocery stores or discount retailers have been welcomed. For godparents who either are hard to buy for or who do not want a present, a gift made to a worthy organization, such as Heifer Int’l, in their name has made a great gift too.

I have also been getting off of the “So much $$ per person budget” bandwagon, and am rather striving for finding an economical gift that they need.

I just happened to come across your website, who knows how! lol I love this post.

I have found it harder and harder to find the ‘perfect’ gift for each person on our list. It becomes a tast that I dread, but this year I have tried to make it a mission to ‘happily’ shop for our loved ones. I don’t know how people used to do it …. going to stores, battling the crowds (even off season is horrid) and deciding on a gift. I find myself spending countless hours just browsing the internet. I can’t go shopping in stores because I find myself standing there not able to decide. Going back and forth and back and forth, then finding something ‘better’ at a different store.

Time to come back to the real meaning of giving….love this post. Thank you for it!

Melody

-BTW, I too am a pennypincher … lol you can check out my blog if you’re bored. http://www.penniesinmypocket.blogspot.com Who knew there were so many of us out there! haha

Splendid article. In my dreams is a cupboard filled throughout the year with wonderful homemade gifts, each one lovingly handcrafted by me and tailored for the recipient. In reality, I’m hopeless at crafts and, because of my own disorganised fault, lack the time to learn. But most importantly, I can only think of a handful of people we give gifts to who would not find the idea of a hand made gift decidedly odd and definitely second best. We have relations who would love a silhouette portrait of the children – but only alongside the ‘proper’ present. Even a homemade gift basket of shop bought items would be met with puzzlement. All very sad. As a result, Christmas giving for us means saving money (in the sense of saving it up) so that we can buy gifts for others that they will actually appreciate and value. I love the Dave Ramsey quote about Christmas not taking us by surprise. We need to get better at the saving part – I always get to November and wish we had done more!

The trick to wish lists and not being greedy or making the recipient feel greedy is not looking at it as a “wish list”! In our family, our “wish lists” are quite long – because they are really “idea lists.” We don’t want or expect everything – or even necessarily anything – on them. They are provided as a service to the rest of our family who we know want to bless us. So they are full of things that we would *appreciate*, or things that can be used on an ongoing basis (like scrapbooking supplies, which can be received more than once and not be overkill), but not necessarily things we feel we must have.

So, when asking for a list, perhaps it would be more effective to ask, “what could you receive that would especially be a blessing?” or “what types of gifts would you appreciate?” or “what sorts of things do you like?” instead of “what do you want?” or “do you have a wish list?”

What a wonderful article. Spurring me on to thrifty, thought filled gift-giving, so the holidays can truly be a celebration, rather than an overwhelming to do list!

This year I am giving books! With over two dozen immediate family members, I have to be thrifty, but I have found that you can almost always find an appropriate book for man, woman, or child, and often your paying only pennies+shipping for a good-as-new book on amazon. Even the hard to buy for guys are getting books – one, his own road atlas now that he has his own car.

I’m over half done, and actually enjoying the process!

Just an idea for grandparents. One year my sisters and I did one of those scrapbook-your- own calendars. Each month highlighted the family members who had birthdays or anniversarys that month. You kind of have to plan ahead for this idea and take pictures, but our parents absolutely loved that calendar. I think they’d be happy with it every Christmas!

[...] I’m kicking off December with reflections on the value, or lack thereof, of collecting bargain-priced gifts. This topic was spurred by a recent clean-out of my “gift closet” to make room for baby linens, and a great Frugal Hacks post by Meredith about being too frugal in gift giving. [...]

No, that is NOT what I am saying–at least not in every case.

What I am saying is that I will buy something that the person wants–NOT something that I just want to buy because it is cheap.

In most cases this means getting a smaller but desired present than one that looks big and fancy but will not be used.

For instance, I can spend $16 on a big gift basket, but if the people I’m giving it too have very specific food preferences, it will be a waste.

However, I can spend $16 on an item, perhaps modest, that I know they want or need, even if it’s something as unassuming as the new Josh Groban CD.

Spending money differently doesn’t mean spending more money. In some cases, it may behoove me to loosen the pursestrings; in others, not.

The key is finding the gift for the recipient, not the giver.