Cheerful Frugality Toes The Line
Do you have someone in your life who prods you to spend money? For tightwads like me, the occasional shove to a cash register can be both helpful and frustrating.
My mother is my own worst enemy when it comes to saving money. "Why make a cake? It will cost you $15 in ingredients."
I patiently explain that if you buy flour in bulk, keep vanilla and sale-priced butter on hand, a scratch cake can be every bit as cheap as a boxed mix, let alone a bakery special. But she remains unconvinced. Next time a cake-worthy occasion rises, she'll say the same thing all over again.
Yet her insistence on a spiral sliced ham for a big family party was one of the best $30 I've ever spent.
All this to tell you the tale of my five-year-old's shoes. I've tried to remain cheerful even as his wide feet expand, carefully stockpiling used Stride Rites in sizes 2, 3, 4, and 5. But the elusive 1.5's with velcro straps were nowhere to be found.
I did what any desperate parent would do: taught him to tie his shoes, so he could wear the lace-up 1.5's we had on hand. He mastered the skill, but not the will. Every morning we engaged in battle. "I'm NOT wearing them! I'm NOT! I worry about them coming untied all day long!"
So I took my readers' advice and ordered a pair of Stride Rite slip-ons from Ebay. They cost more than my rock-bottom usual, but still a bargain, compared to the $58 retail.
No go. "I hate the back. I can't stand the way it feels on my leg," my five-year-old wailed. "My foot slips out! I'm NOT wearing them!"
Indian summer intervened; August's Tevas brought detente to our home. The first bitter cold morning I drove us all to Walmart. "We're not leaving without a pair of velcro strap shoes wide enough to fit your feet. Period."
Those $15 light up babies? Stretched out within two weeks. And once again we were returned to the morning battle. "I can't pull them tight enough, Mama . They're too loose! I can't run!"
My mother insisted we drive to Stride Rite this weekend. "Just go in and buy him shoes like a normal person. So what if they cost $50? My grandson deserves proper shoes." I grabbed the car keys with a weary nod. At this point I feel like a negligent parent.
We came home from the journey with a $56 pair of shoes...that turned out to be way too tight. The clerk sold us the wrong size box. My cheerfully frugal nature was willing to go with the flow when it came to the $2 shoes, the $26 Ebays, and the $15 Walmart specials. But make me go into the mall and hand over our entire clothing envelope, and I expect satisfaction.
I returned the shoes to a less chaotic Stride Rite this morning. While waiting fifteen minutes in line, I noticed a sale bin of curly shoelaces on the counter. "Do these really work?" I asked another mom.
"Oh, yes!" she exclaimed. "If anything, they hold my son's tennis shoes a little too tight."
I bought two pairs for $1.50. Keep your fingers crossed.
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12 Responses to “Cheerful Frugality Toes The Line”
November 5th, 2007 at 3:55 pm
We had decent luck with the “oval laces” keeping tied last year. We went thought many pairs though as the lace cover kept wearing off. You know, I’d have a hard time not telling off a anyone else that insisted that you spend $ on anything. Bless your heart for not snapping at her, but may you have strength to stand up for yourself.
For me it’s not a person – it’s just hard sometimes to tell what’s more important. We’ve had several hard hits lately and it’s hard to prioritize. (I.e. should I go with out a freezer when what I do to try to save $ depend on one. Needless to say we used what was left of the emergency savings up to get one.) I feel a bit like my own worst enemy of late. Will see if I can hoard the emergency savings a bit better.
November 5th, 2007 at 4:40 pm
when my son was small i taught him to tie his shoes and then TAKE THE LOOPS AND KNOT THEM AGAIN. They will stay tied all day that way. and its free!
November 5th, 2007 at 6:15 pm
I agree! If I’m going to fork out “big” bucks for full price new, they ought to walk on water and tie themselves…
Hope the laces work!
November 5th, 2007 at 6:21 pm
Meredith, I am always loathe to admit that I buy Hanna Andersson underwear for my children (the Classic Unders). My girlfriend finally goaded me into trying them after two years of brushing her off. I bought a three-pack ($18!) and placed them into roation without a word to my children.
One morning they were fighting before school–turns out they were engaged in a literal tug-of-war over the last pair of clean Hanna underwear in the pile. “Mommy! I LOVE this underwear!” said my older daughter.
The younger daughter started crying, “Why does SHE get to wear them? They feel good and I want to wear them.”
I bought another pack.
November 5th, 2007 at 6:29 pm
Hmmm…I’ll have to look for those, Cat.
Andrew says the first lace-up pair is the most comfortable of all the shoes we’ve tried. It is only the constant tying and retying that has him angry.
If he had really loved the new shoes, I would have exchanged them for the larger size.
November 5th, 2007 at 7:28 pm
I have a hard time thinking maybe life would just be easier if I just went ahead and bought a wardrobe full of matching shoes/pants/shirts/dresses etc. from a cute store like Hannah Andersson. But, instead I -cannot- bring myself to spend that much money on anything. For now my kids are content wearing the gently worn/new thrifted and garaged saled clothing that I’ve found for them. But, it does get annoying trying to match all the different bargain pants, shirts, socks, and shoes into a cute outfit for preschool.
I have to admit I was tempted by the Hanna Andersson panties but I’ve never heard a complaint about our back to school bargain hanes and fruit of the looms except that the favored Princess pair was in the dirty laundry that day.
November 5th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
I am so with you about the shoes. My second daughter has incredibly wide feet. She didn’t start walking until 16 months and when she did walk it was summer in the Southern Hemisphere where we lived, so she was barefoot, as is the custom. We did have a pair of Elefante sandals passed down from a friend that were barely worn and they fit fine. As the weather cooled, I just put socks on with the sandals. I did try to buy some inexpensive sneakers but couldn’t find anything in her size that would fit in the width. Then we moved to California in July, so I was able to buy her some Target sandals. But now it’s November and she needed some sneakers. I looked everywhere and finally went to Stride Rite. Fortunately it was an outlet, so I got them for $20, but I think I’m resigned to spending more on shoes than I’d rather.
November 6th, 2007 at 6:04 am
I certainly hope the laces work out for him (and you) but if not, how about double tying the laces?
I worried a lot about untied shoe laces as a child. My Mom taught me how to double knot them and it worked beautifully. I didn’t worry and the shoes stayed tied. I taught both of my kids how to double knot their laces. They do it every day without thinking. No floppy shoe laces dragging on the ground!
November 6th, 2007 at 7:18 am
I worried about untied laces as a child, too, after I saw a girl in front of me in the hallway at school trip herself on her untied lace. That was a hard fall! She was on crutches for awhile.
Regarding those Hanna underwear (!) my children had never complained about their hand-me-down brands either (they’ve only ever worn hand-me-down underwear, even though some people think that’s ew!), but when I had to buy new, I decided to give them a try at my friend’s urging. I think my kids like that they’re thick and soft and there are no elastic bits exposed anywhere. We’ve never bought Hanna clothing but have “inherited” several pieces through the years and I have found the clothing to be of exceptional quality. The tights can be worn heavily with no pilling or tears, and handed down to the next child. Again, we’ve never bought new, except for the underwear!
As for the topic of this week’s post, when I am “urged” by others to spend $ on things, and if I know the person will not be receptive to my counter argument, I usually smile and say, “Yes, you’re probably right,” but keep doing what I’m doing. My MIL is instantly appeased when I say that, as if I’m at least acknowledging that her argument has merit. She spent her early married life scraping together meals from pennies, and now that she can afford convenience, she can’t imagine why I would intentionally create more work for myself when I don’t always “have” to. My own mother finally bought us a microwave because she was frustrated during visits that she couldn’t reheat something in one. I could never justify the cost of a microwave, even though we could afford one, because we had other ways of heating food that didn’t actually take very long–the stove or oven.
Sorry to fill up all the comment space!
November 6th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
The entire time I was reading this post, I kept thinking that you needed to get the curly shoelaces. We had them for my daughter when she was younger and they definitely solved the problem for us, although her feet were incredible narrow, not wide. She’s one of the few children I’ve ever known that was born with a perfectly arched foot; her newborn print and all the ones taken during babyhood and toddler years look like she’s wearing high heels! She also had a very long foot and getting shoes to fit has always been a problem, although at 12 she’s now in a woman’s size 7.5 or 8 AA, so it’s a bit easier. All of this to say that the laces should work for you and no matter which child you have, there will just about always be issues with fitting shoes, clothes, personal tastes, and personal concerns.
November 10th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
I hit yard sales for a while looking for new sneaks for my son…no luck. I felt bad spending $20+ at the Stride Rite outlet! But, he really needed the shoes. Winters are cold and snowy here and sandals just won’t do. I think he can wear them to church, even, no biggie.
Now I need to find warm church shoes for two of my girls! Really hoping the thrift store has something. They’ve been wearing tennies to church the last three weeks as well.
I like the strategy of saying, “You’re probably right” and then doing my own thing. That sounds like just my style! Thank goodness my family members are frugal too.
And my friends give me stuff. 
So I try not to be too vocal about what I’m looking for anymore–don’t want to sound like I’m begging! :0 I really enjoy yard saling/treasure hunting anyway.
November 11th, 2007 at 7:32 pm
Thanks for everyone’s suggestions!
I’m happy to report that the coiled shoelaces on the original, secondhand Stride Rites work beautifully!
We had tried to teach him the double-knot, but he always got it in a huge tangle which worsened the situation. I think he may not be old enough, either with finger dexterity and/or confidence.
We’re still working on those skills every day, but these $1.50 laces can make any shoe find workable. I’m so relieved!
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