Frugal for Me, Frugal for You
If every one you admired jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?
I think most of us have heard some variation of that phrase at least once. Most references were probably related to peer pressure when we were teens. As teens, it was all about acting or looking or having things like the most popular kids so everyone would like us and think we were cool too. Now that we're grown up, we choose our friends and preferences differently. Or do we? Sometimes yes. Sometimes no.
As internet savvy folks, we participate in forums or egroups and read blogs by people who enjoy the same hobbies we do, have the same philosophies in life or teach us things we want to learn. Let's face it, there are (still) folks who have better ideas, great photos or more eloquent writing than others. We read them more frequently or comment more often when they share something. Sometimes we stand in awe of them and wish we could do things "just like them" because their idea was so practical or creative or whatever.
I'll be the first one to admit I have favorite frugal blogs. I love new ideas. I've learned a lot from these gals. They inspire me and prod me to do better. But if these folks shared what I think is an incredible idea and yet it's something that might not work for my family, would I try to do it anyhow? Would I be upset if I couldn't do it too? How about you?
Crystal spends $35 on groceries each week. Meredith can dig up $1 designer eyeglass frames as well as other nifty finds. Kim found a cheap way to replace the family tarantula. I can sew $2 dresses for my daughter. But do our incredible frugal finds qualify as frugal for you and your family? The answer is maybe not.
Except by a miracle and lots of charity, my family of 6 with our food sensitivities would starve on $35 a week for groceries. I could find six $1 a pair hip eyeglasses, but it wouldn't do us any good either. Nobody in my family wears glasses. I don't care how cheap a tarantula might be, I still DON'T want one! You might be able to find supplies to sew your daughter a dress for $2, but if you don't own a sewing machine or don't know how to sew, you've wasted your money.
Although we often equate frugality with great finds and ways to save money, frugality really looks different for each of us. Each family has different needs and desires for the future. Remember my original definition of frugal as prudently saving or sparing? Somebody might have a great idea, but if it doesn't work for your family, it's not prudent to continue. If it's not prudent for you, it's not frugal for you. An idea might be incredible, but before we embrace it, we need to consider how it will work for our family and if it is something that will help us to be cheerfully frugal.
Getting back to the agenda behind my original question: if your favorite frugal blogger suggested an incredible money saving idea that worked for her family, would you try it too? I hope you would pause first and consider the long or short term implications. After you thoroughly and prayerfully considered if it was a good thing for your family, then you can decide if you want to jump. Looking before you jump helps evaluate the big difference between playful, deep water waiting below or concrete pavement.
So have you ever gotten caught up in frugal peer pressure? What are some of the incredible ideas you've stumbled across that wouldn't work for you or your family?
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11 Responses to “Frugal for Me, Frugal for You”
October 17th, 2007 at 9:49 am
Thanks for this post – I needed that reminder. Sometimes I get the mindset that if others can do it, but I can’t it’s because I’m failing, forgetting that maybe it just doesn’t work well for me and my family.
The #1 I’d have to say that I tried was the same idea as the $35 a week. I don’t know how she does that, even with coupons, there is simply no way I could feed 3 meals a day to the 4 of us, living in my area, and not be eating ramen noodles all week long. It’s simply impossible for me and I’m a very frugal and creative cook!
October 17th, 2007 at 11:00 am
Buying single-ply toilet paper is an idea that doesn’t work for us – we just use twice as much!
My sisters and I also have decided that being “rich” means not having to wash ziploc baggies. LOL
October 17th, 2007 at 11:45 am
There are most definitely frugal ideas that I have run across that I would not be able to do. When I first began talking to people about saving money, I try to encourage them with realistic money-saving goals. I am not going to tell a family to make pillows out of dryer lint, because that is unrealistic.
Some of the things I do are unconventional and I think people just take what they need and make it their own for their own family.
This is a great reminder and wonderful post- thank you!
October 17th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
Going down to one vehicle doesn’t work for us–my husband uses a van for his work, but occasionally something with better gas mileage is in order. So we really need both options.
October 18th, 2007 at 6:03 am
I guess it goes along with the scripture about “counting the cost”, but of course in scipture they were talking about following Jesus. ;0)
I think it is easy to get “caught up” in what someone else is doing, because we want so badly to do right by our families. In some blogs it is put across that if you don’t do X, Y, or Z you are some how failing and no one wants to be a failure. :0( I also think it depends on our seasons in our life. I know when our kids were little it was much easier to spend less on groceries and other items. However, the older they get the more expensive they can be, LOL. Lets face it, a 2 year olds appetite is wayyyy…smaller then a 12 year olds. ;0)
All we can do is share honestly with each other and allow the Holy Spirit to work as He wishes. God made each person and therefore each family different, lets accept the differences and let Him use us as He wants to. :0)
October 18th, 2007 at 8:42 am
I don’t have any specific examples of what didn’t work, but several times after coming across an idea that I’m interested in (but not sure would work for us), I’ll ask my husband to read the blog and tell me what he thinks. It helps to have his opinion and discernment as to whether something would be good for us or not.
October 18th, 2007 at 8:47 am
Thank you, so very much for this post! Different family dynamics, the state where the family resides, and even the local community one lives in, all have a great deal to do with what each of are able to do frugality-wise.
October 18th, 2007 at 2:26 pm
You’re all very welcome.
It’s easy to loose perspective and feel like we’re not doing a “good job,” when in reality we’re doing the best things for us.
October 18th, 2007 at 4:21 pm
The strangest idea that I came across that wouldn’t work for our family is the sawdust toilet! I blogged about it. Basically you give up indoor plumbing for a toilet that sits on top of a box or bucket of sawdust. Uh, that would not go over well with us.
October 21st, 2007 at 6:52 pm
I think this is the best Frugal Hacks post yet!
I would never have thought about there being a frugal peer pressure, but you’re absolutely right. To me, the essence of frugality is looking at a particular situation and figuring out a creative situation–not a cookie cutter, copycat technique.
That’s why I am so enamored of the Tightwad Gazette. Amy D. went beyond tips to show the mental strategies of the frugal life.
October 24th, 2007 at 6:15 am
I’m with Grace – I feel like I’m failing at being frugal with groceries. I watch for sales and plan menus around those – but I’m having a very hard time reducing that grocery bill. I’ve looked at those $35/week menus and they’re planned around carbohydrates. We simply can’t eat that way.
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